can i doubt His tender mercy, who through life has been my guide?

Just a short post. Blogging is really not as easy as it looks haha. So last week i spent every alternate day at the ConneXion student house in semenyih, off my university campus. In a nutshell, to enlighten you, we have a Bible study group on campus but now we're starting this student house too so we can have activities here and students can hang out. So basically this summer has been a Project Revamp.

So we were raking the grass right cause it was sooo long and if the grass cutting man (is there a better term? haha) were to rake it for us after cutting, it would cost an extra RM30 (!! yes it's a bungalow but it's not a mansion!) So we did it ourselves. It took about 4 hours spread out in 2 days.

Before raking it looks like this

you cant see it but it's actually more than an inch thick of cut grass

Then after tirelessly raking under the burning hot afternoon sun, obviously satisfaction is aplenty when we achieve this

However, one's happiness is short lived, when she looked over the fence at the neighbour's house to see this

Talk about a demotivator! Haha, but still, a cup of cold 100 plus does make up for it :)

adakah aku yang salah, atau hanya helah saja

*click to enlarge*

I miss high school life and the people:)

there is someone here inside

I am officially messed up. And i need advice on how to make this right. So, what am i talking about?

My sleeping time.

Ya i mean i obviously already knew that, cause for the last 2 months of my summer break, i have put in considerable effort to sleep as late as possible (i.e. 4am-5am). Don't blame me, it's called summer break reflex. [hint: denial]

Remember learning how if we touch a boiling kettle, our receptors in the skin sends a message to our brain to tell it that the kettle's hot and then the brain sends a message back and tells the hands to move away? And all these happens in warp speed because if it doesnt our fingers would have already turned into fried sausages by the time the message gets from the brain to our hands. And that's called reflex, which google defined as,

"An automatic instinctive unlearned reaction to a stimulus, without volition or conscious control"

So you see it's the same with my summer break reflex. 4 months of break from studies is like the boiling kettle. Spot the similarity? Okay la, maybe not the volition or conscious control part.

But i digress.

What stirred this feeling of,
"Wow, i really did mess up and i need to fix it." ?

Well, i had a long day today. After youth i stayed back for some practice and then went for a movie [ghosts of girlfriends' past, which incidentally i do not recommend (now i really have this urge to break into a song *be careful little eyes what you see, be careful little eyes what you see, for the Father up above is looking down in love, so be careful little eyes what you see*)]

Then of course, took the ktm home. And we all know how the ktm has a knack for causing advanced aging.

When i got home after dinner, i was really feeling sleepy (hint: shock!) so i went to bed at about 10pm. I was very happy cause i mean c'mon, i usually only feel sleepy in the range of 3.30am. So i slept. And guess what?

I woke at bout 11.45pm and just couldnt go back to sleep anymore. I felt wide awake! I was like what? No! I mean isn't there like this rule when you feel sleepy AT NIGHT you automatically sleep soundly all night?! After tossing and turning and trying to go back to sleep in total total vain-ness (okay that was very grammatically wrong i think, but i really wanna get a message across haha. i meant to say 'in vain' in case you did not understand), i gave up and here i am.

Although my body and i are not really on speaking terms right now (cause it refuses to help me out when i ask it to just go to sleep), i got a feeling we're just waiting for 4am to come.

Oh, it's only 2.18am.


I think i'll go read a book.

can't help but think that this is wrong

I'm not a fan of lady gaga. But when i first heard her song Poker Face, the really upbeat one, i thought "hey, this is something." It's a nice song, but it's just not done you know? Then i heard her acoustic version, the one she did on american idol i think, and i was like, "well, we're getting somewhere, this is definitely better." A lotta people beg to disagree with me when i say that.

Guess what? I finally discovered a justified version of that song.





Be back soon with more than just a video (my first too!) update. In the meantime, i'm off to work on those acoustic guitar playing skills in hope that i can be half the musician jason mraz is.

it's my only hope of heaven, at the cross forgiven

Adore09's Blogaway contest officially starts today! All you gotta do is write a post on your blog on A Generation Of HOPE, in anyway you want to, and send your URL to team.adore@gmail.com . Prizes up for grabs at Adore itself!

So, as an example, i'm posting my version on my blog. Details about Adore09 are as follow:

Date : 22nd August 2009
Venue : Main Sanctuary, KL Baptist Church
Time : ADORE09 Bash (4:00pm – 7:30pm)
Concert (7:30pm – 10:00pm)

...............................................................................................................................

The most obvious (and necessary) question to ask is,

What is HOPE?

When you're stuck in a traffic jam,

there is HOPE that the end is just around the bend (although you've been telling yourself that

10 bends ago)

When you hit snooze for the 5th time in the morning,

you HOPE that you will hear your favourite ringtone (in my case, mighty morphin power rangers :P) and get notice that class is cancelled for the day!

When you break your curfew,

you HOPE that miraculously the clock in your house lagged for just that 15 minutes.

When you step on the weighing scale,

you HOPE that somehow all the calories you so gluttonly consumed in the past week sunk with the Titanic. (yes, i am guilty as charged)

When you got news that Michael Jackson died,

you HOPED that it was just a publicity idea gone a little too far. (did you?)

When my grandad was diagnosed with final stage cancer, i HOPED that God is gracious and gives that extra one year so he can at least see my sister graduate, like he always wanted to.

Yes, we are a generation of hope. But is this what real hope is? An uncertainty we bank on, which if it happens, great. If not, well too bad. I'll try again next time.

If this is hope, it isn't much different from what people call chance, luck. I don't know about you, but i am not content with that. Thank God real hope is so much more.

Do you know what is hope?

HOPE is when you wake up in the morning knowing that God is going before you through your day in everything you do.

HOPE is when you face rejection of any kind, you know that there is One who accepts and loves you unconditionally.

*plays Daniel Powter's "Bad Day" in the background*

HOPE is when you had a bad day, you go to bed in peace, knowing His mercies are new every morning.

HOPE is when you fear, you know that He never leaves, He never forsakes us.

HOPE is when the future lies unknown, you know that He has plans to prosper us, not to harm us.

HOPE is when we don't understand why we're going through what we're going through, but rest secure in the knowledge that all things work for the good of those who love Him.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

HOPE is when you know your granddad is going to leave this earth soon, and even if God doesn't prolong his life, you know that it isn't goodbye, that you will one day be reunited with him again in heaven.

Hope is a promise in the face of uncertainties, trials, weaknessess, fear, loneliness... even death. It gives courage to overcome. Because of God.

Are you confused or lost? Do you find yourself hoping against all hopes but always being let down? We may be a generation of many false, make believe hopes. It's time to get our facts right.

JESUS is the real HOPE.

And if we choose to believe in Him, then we will learn and experience what it means to be a real

Generation of HOPE.

a thousand times i've failed, still Your mercy remains

The title of this blogpost is how i've been feeling a lot lately.

I am such a sinner, making the same mistakes that affect others, displeasing Him over and over and over again. God's mercy spares me from the worse that could happen, and His grace lavishes me with blessings that not only do i not deserve, sometimes, i am afraid to receive.

Titus 2:11 speaks of the grace of God that we are soaked in. David Crowder in their new single, puts it accurately when they said 'if grace were an ocean we're all sinking'.

I have been feeling extremely unworthy lately. Unworthy of God's grace. Don't get me wrong. Yes, this is exactly the feeling that should live with us. 'Cause in fact, we are unworthy of anything from God. The very faith that we have is a gift (Eph 2:8). But of course this realisation of unworthiness, instead of drowning us in helplessness forever, should be channelled accordingly towards the way we live our lives, because we are not hopeless people. It should shine through every one of our actions, knowing we deserve nothing from Him who gave everything, all the more we should urgently live for Him.

Everthing i have is unmerited. Boy, that sure is a big blow to my ego. Sometimes i wonder where human pride comes from. Where my pride comes from. To know i am worth nothing. It must all have been built on lies. Lies that are refined until they resemble the truth. Told so often, that i myself start believing, hey, i am something of worth on my own.

I fear God. Revelations 8 talks about what happens when God's grace is taken away, and that scares me. To know that it is only the layer of God's grace that is shielding me from His own wrath. What's more, it isn't a thin layer. Such irony, the very thing that strikes fear in me, is the same thing that comforts me.


Our God is an awesome God.

we'll cry, but we won't give up the fight

我真的很乱








i feel like i'm doing everything wrong. is this called growing?

sing your melody, i'll sing along

The clock ticks.

It waits for no one. As time whizzes past in a haze of special days and ordinary ones, people that complete those days are often taken for granted. We say hello, we live the routine, occasionally doing something out of the usual, and then we bid each other goodbye. One day has passed.

On those rare occasions we flip (or in modern days, click) through pictures, flashes of stored memories from the past replay themselves. We miss the times, and wonder what changed. Nothing. Only we did not learn to appreciate the moment, or perhaps being creatures of short lived memories, we just simply forget.

Now that time is limited, every moment counts. The rush to load up on memories, to ensure the other doesn't forget this friendship, the useless wishes that time would crawl.

When what is really going to matter are those 'normal' everydays in the past, now but memories.

I really don't know what to say Jon haha. I guess i've said everything i wanted to in all our hang outs, farewell cards and sharings. Just one post for you before you leave. Just 2 years, we're gonna feel it, but we know time is gonna fly too:)

There's a consolation.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Memories last a lifetime=)

See you in 2 years have fun! xD

love is not a fight, but it's something worth fighting for

I'm gonna turn 20, at the end of this year, God willing. I guess i'm at this phase where i have a lot of uncertainties about love. And the unknown future is constantly playing in my mind. Whatever phase we're in, this song is either a lesson, or a reminder. Read every word. Each word speaks.

Love is Not A Fight - Warren Barfield

Love is not a place
To come and go as we please
It's a house we answer in
Then commit to never leave

So lock the door behind you
Throw away the key
We'll work it out together
Let it bring us to our knees

Chorus:
Love is a shelter in a raging storm
Love is peace in the middle of a war
And if we try to leave, may God send angels to guard the door
No, love is not a fight
but it's something worth fighting for

To some, love is a word
That they can fall into
But when they're falling out
Keeping that word is hard to do

Chorus:
Love is a shelter in a raging storm
Love is peace in the middle of a war
And if we try to leave, may God send angels to guard the door
No, love is not a fight
but it's something worth fighting for

Love will come to save us
If we'll only call
He will ask nothing from us
But demand we give our all

Chorus:
Love is a shelter in a raging storm
Love is peace in the middle of a war
And if we try to leave, may God send angels to guard the door
No, love is not a fight
but it's something worth fighting for

I will fight for you
Would you fight for me?
It's worth fighting for

life's a climb, but the view's beautiful

WARNING : Personally Experienced Cliche Post Ahead !

In an effort to fully utilise the time Jon has left in Malaysia with us (2 weeks! :(), we planned a day out that was slightly different than usual (i.e. no movies)

So it was laid out, we would go to my uni to play some badminton, go for lunch in broga (at first wanna eat pan mee, but because of the weather, change plans ate at an air conditioned place haha) and climb up broga hill (apparently it's also known as bukit lalang, but among my university friends, it's fondly known as broga hill.) After the first climb, joseph and i actually went up once more in the evening this time with hannah and waifong.

Prior to yesterday, i have never been up there. My uni mates have planned countless trips up there but i always did not make it. But i have seen pictures of the top on facebook. I tried going up with alvin rachel and joseph but we didnt make it to the top cause it was really impromptu and rachel was really tired after a long day of badminton. Plus, i wasn't sure if i was taking them the right way haha.

So back to the present (then), we (jon, faye and joseph) started climbing. It was uphill all the way so obviously it took a toll on us despite it apparently being a 'very easy hill' haha. But we just kept going. The other day with alvin and rachel, joseph and i got a glimpse of the peak when we went slightly further to scout how much more there is to go. And that measly preview was enough to make me wanna get to the top this time, no matter what.

It took a surprisingly short time. In about 20 minutes we got to the foot of the peak, i hope you get what i mean haha. This climb to the peak was the toughest of the whole climb. It was a clear picture of the phrase 'So near, yet so far'. The peak was just there, within our reach, and the route there seems so short! But it was steep, and every step takes much effort.

I am reading this book jeremy lent me, by Michael W. Smith titled It's Time To Be Bold. And there's this one chapter devoted to Christian friends, and it says - You'll Never Make It Alone.

How true is that? We need each other in life. Friends are a gift from God. Just like we needed each other's encouragement to continue the climb, we need each other to help face life.

The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances; if there is any reaction, both are transformed.

C.G. Jung

SO, we got there to the top, and i know it was an easy hill yada yada but the feeling to get there to the top and see it for myself (after many pictures from facebook, and one unfinished attempt) is one of slight overwhelmation (if there is such a word). Especially with so many things happening lately, it was hard not to use it as an analogy to life, now more than ever.

Yeah, everyone know life's a climb, cause no one is exempt from it. I have seen and am seeing so many people (including me!) questioning LIFE in general. When you pick someone's mind, ultimately, what's stirring in it is- life. The fragility of life gives and takes hope from everyone, and those who do not know Christ struggle with questions that may never be answered.

No, we Christians are not exempt from these questions. But one thing we have- is a goal. A final destination. Like the mountain, the peak is the goal. It gets tough, the desire to give up is a surety waiting to happen. Sometimes we get so burnt out, the peak just doesnt seem as inviting anymore.

Yet those who wait for the Lord will gain new strength; They will mount up with wings like eagles, They will run and not get tired, They will walk and not become weary.

Isaiah 40:31

Waiting is really hard. Case in point, i am waiting for my exam results now which i will get on monday. It's inside torture.

We wait for the ktm (!), we wait for that promotion that doesnt seem to be coming, we wait for that life partner God is preparing, we wait for God to show us that ONE thing in life we are seeking so badly. We wait for answers.

From much (dreadful) experience with ktm, one good thing that comes out of it, is my patience is built. Waiting builds character. In the time we wait, we come to the realisation that the Lord is the only One who can handle the situation we are in and our faith grows.

Fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith. That gives us strength to carry on till we complete the race.

I want God's will to be done in my life, so i must learn to wait. And you know what?

It's not such a bad thing after all.

Thank You, Lord

Thank You Lord

for the trials that come my way

in that way I can grow each day

as I let You lead

and I thank You lord

for the patience those trials bring

in the process of growing

i can learn to care

but it goes against the way i am

to put my human nature down

and let the Spirit take control of all i do

cause when those trials come

my human nature shouts the things to do

and God's soft prompting can be easily ignored

i thank You Lord

with each trial i feel inside

that You're there to help lead and guide

my way from wrong

cause You promised Lord

that with ev'ry testing

that Your way of escaping is easier to bear

i thank you Lord

for the vict'ry that growing brings

in surrender of ev'rything

life is so worthwhile

and i thank You Lord

that when ev'rthing's put in place

out in front i can see Your face

and it's there You belong

on the outside shying away, on the inside dying to say

Dear God,

I have a lot of questions for You. But right now there's just one that's bugging me.

Is there a line between hypocrisy and ignorance? How do i figure that out? Or maybe it just isnt my responsibility to distinguish between them. How do i act? Maybe 'act' is a bad choice of words. What should i do?

You've been really good to me. Closer than ever, even when i tend to stray further. You answer a lot of my prayers really quickly, though not all with answers that i'd prefer. But You are God, after all.

You taught me SO much in such a short span of time, and just when i think i've had enough and need a break from learning, You tell me learning is for life, and i dont get a break. You push me gently, to my limits, only to reveal my weaknesses. But there, You reveal Your power. You humble me, because i am always too proud, and You remind me again and again, You are all i need.

Everyday is a surprise with You, i never know what You would bring me through each new day. I've learnt to accept that, perhaps not as gracefully as i should, but again i guess that's learning.

People are my strength, people are my weakness. The fears that follow me are like the thorn in Paul's flesh. It feels like a thorn in mine. I'd never be able to understand why i have to live with these fears, or maybe, it's just not the time.

I've made mistakes along the way, some i'm glad i did. Some, i just look back in regret wishing, really wishing i could time travel and just get a chance to relive those moments. (still wishing, i know with You all things are possible!) But i guess all these moments are the ones that make me who i am, or maybe, going to make me who you want me to be.

Am i happy? Yes Jesus, I am happy, right here right now, and eternally grateful for all that You've done with me, and all that You will do. But i want more. I want this joy to stem from eternal sources, not earthly ones. I want all these struggles that pop up and punctuate my joy be worth something in my life later. I want to be a better person. I dont want to take sides. The only side i'm on, is Yours.

I guess all i'm trying to say is-

I need You. But You already know that.

So, thank You.

both a little scared, neither one prepared

It's easy to boast about not fearing death when there is no imminent threat to your life. Easy to say, 'I'm not afraid of death! I know where I'm going and Who i'm gonna see right'?

But when death is closer, when your days are numbered in real finite digits, not just some unpredictable surety, do you wonder?

When i close my eyes here, will i open them straight away in heavenly realms? Will i, like in the movies, be lying on the ground, picking myself up to find white surroundings, approaching high gates to find my Lord. Or will He be the One who wakes me up and walks me into His courts? Will He be the first sight i behold at heaven? What would be my instinct reactions?

My imagination runs wild, till i'm hard put to contain it. Am i even ready to meet Him? Will we be as close as i claim us to be here on earth?

Perhaps not. So much more effort to be put into this relationship. So many more things that should stop being taken for granted, Some life revamping is in order.

It really makes you stop. And think.

Really think.

I Can Only Imagine - Mercy Me

I can only imagine
What it will be like
When I walk
By your side

I can only imagine
What my eyes will see
When your face
Is before me

I can only imagine
I can only imagine

Surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel
Will I dance for you Jesus or in awe of you be still
Will I stand in your presence or to my knees will I fall
Will I sing hallelujah, will I be able to speak at all
I can only imagine
I can only imagine

I can only imagine
When that day comes
And I find myself
Standing in the Son

I can only imagine
When all I will do
Is forever
Forever worship You

I can only imagine
I can only imagine

every sky was your own kind of blue

because i think the chicken is so cute, and i love pushing it when it comes to rachel. and it helped me relax.

ah, the simple pleasures of life.

promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance

My youngest sister, rebekah's blog has this song by miley cyrus from the new hannah montana movie. It's called the climb. The moment i heard it through, the words struck a chord with me.

Ironic how this 'non-Christian' song got me to instinctively reflect my Christian life. I feel like these few months, i have been facing a lotta mountains in my life. The small ones, the bigger ones. I realised without really realising it before that they are the ones that are shaping me slowly everyday now, changing my view and take on some things, and making my heart right in gray areas. But at the same time, i realise these are the ones that are so wearisome, draining me of the will to keep going sometimes, because being human, i cant help but stop and think- i just don't have the strength to go on anymore. Lord, i'm tired.

I was chatting with wenshan, a uni classmate yesterday night. He's a really grounded Christian guy and i was just so discouraged in this one particular area of working with people and i was sharing with him and his words were so encouraging and i could tell it was spoken from experience.

I was flipping through the book by joyce meyer jon gave layyean on her birthday saturday morning, and i read something that said

It doesn't take any special talent to give up or lie down on the roadside of life and say, "I quit!"

Which is so true. So many times i just wanna tell God i quit! But i want to be different, and the way there is i've gotta first learn to get over life's disappointments and deal with them so they don't get me down. I can't afford to let them pile up and accumulate into something that drags me down later down the road.

Then i'm gonna let God pick me up.

2 papers down, 2 more papers to go. Can't wait, although i have to say in all my finals, i have never been less stressed. So blessed with many people encouraging and praying for me everyday you know who you are thank you=)

See y'all at the end!

i'm still holding on somehow

Let's call this friend of mine Mr. L.

So we were studying in ringing silence in the meeting room and then all of a sudden,

hiewmun : who farted?!

Mr. L : *sneaky giggle* heehee it's me sorry.

clarence : it's the silent one!

weiwen & sarah: *leaves the room immediately*


Incidentally, he had char siew, siew yoke and ku lou yoke for lunch. Every dish possible for the swine flu pandemic.

I wonder if swine flu is airborne.

Barely 10 minutes later,

weiwen : *sings* ha-lle-lu-jah

clarence : *sings* here i go again~ (mamma mia song)

hiewmun, weiwen, sarah : *looks up* huh?!

clarence : what? i was just continuing - ... oh no!

*laughs*

who ever said study break is boring?

i'm too shy to ask, i'm too proud to lose

Study week! Not really down with it yet, cause there still is time. It's parkinson's law. I can't help it.

Big time posers

Breakfast is the most important meal of the day


Exercise (this is cheating, we took this after our shower while waiting for the rest)


Poser lagi (it's raining outside!)

Taking a stroll around the lake to ease stress, never leaving the books behind haha

We really do study, honest

Anyway, it's been generally a pretty relaxing week for me, but mentally you can say i've been pretty active. I've used the week to really work on clearing my heart of all intents and purposes cause i want to be right before God. It wasn't a smooth sailing week in that aspect but i'm doing my best. I'm re-examining my motives, and asking God to help me do the right thing, act the right way even it there's something bigger, which in time He will show. A lot more work to be done on this heart.

Sometimes it's not about the right or the wrong, it's more of the 'is this the right time'? matter, so it's definitely not easy to adjust my actions around that. It's very frustrating, because i get so confused but i'm sure it's all part of the learning process.

Anyways, queenie lee has just consented to tempt me with krispy kremes just now so until now, i am still craving while she's off to pasar malam trying to find a substitute. Thanks a lot.

I dont need the fats.

you're never alone

when all my faith has gone, you bring it back to me

I know i'm supposed to be doing math now (test on wednesday) but i had this urge to blog about my monday haha which was nothing really special but an urge is an urge right? hmm, doesn't sound too right haha.

Anyways,

So we got home around 11.30pm yesterday after making a detour at shell to fill layyean's (car) tank and accidentally went into mcd's for chocolate sundae. I went to bed pretty early considering how late (or early depending on how you see it) i've been going to bed recently. It was harder to wake up in the morning than ever cause i knew i had to cover a few more topics for this electronics test i had today, but i got up without snoozing the alarm once haha.

Studied for about 2 hours and then hannah (on study break) woke up and for the next half hour or so we discussed about something that i want to but cannot share here but will as soon as it's not a secret anymore.. haha. Suspense leh?

Okay, my test begun at 3pm, and I left home at 2.30 cause usually it only takes me about 20 minutes tops to get to uni. Don't know what i was doing, i left home at about 2.35. At the toll, being the klutz that i am, i slammed my hand against the door frame while reaching out to pay the lady and skinned my thumb along with some flesh. It started bleeding but i didn't bother much and just wiped it away cause at that time i realised i had a chance of being late for this test.

Reaching uni at like 2.55, another problem. The parking was full. After a few rounds found a spot far from the exam hall. While rushing to the hall, i realised my thumb hasnt stopped bleeding so i had to make another detour to the washroom cause i thought washing it would help. It didn't. It just keep bleeding like my body had access blood and i had to get it all out. Rushing to the hall, i made it on time settled down and was still trying to stop the bleeding.

I didn't have any plaster with me so with no choice, i took a piece of tissue, wrapped it around the finger and stapled it together (cause alex only has stapler no cellophane tape haha) so as not to distract me during the test haha. On the test.. let's just say i know i've slacked and i'm determined to make it up during finals.

And to think when my mum said,
" Sarah, you leave at 2.30pm after you'll be late la."

And i replied,
"Don't worry la, wont wan."

Parents DO know best.

there's nothing left of this fool

I feel like i'm barely hanging by a thread.

I haven't properly slept these past few nights, but no matter how late i stay up, the work seems neverending. Then there's that 2 tests next week that's weighing down my conscience all week telling me to start preparing but there's just no time for it. And finals are around the corner but we can't even afford to think about it yet.

Then there's camp preparation. Then i get a mail saying that we(bible study group on campus) are not supposed to screen dvds without approval and they need a synopsis of what we're watching.

Then there's people matters. So many people to deal with, so much patience and wisdom and humility required.

All these are already pulling me down but it doesnt matter so much cause i can still deal with it and i'm getting loads of help which really is a blessing.

What i can't deal with is the emotional stress. When out of nowhere i remember the fear. The fear that weighs me down more than anything else. I know everyone has fears, but what i can't understand is why i can't face up to this fear. It's not a big deal to anyone else, but why is it bothering me so much? I'm so, SO SICK of this.

Get over it already.

would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

What a week! It's been a really bittersweet week for me. To think that 4 days can bear so many emotions.

Stress is reaching maximum level, but somehow i still manage to hold it together. My partner and i have this project, a calculator, and it didn't work and for one week there was that crazy troubleshooting cause this project we're only given 4 weeks = 12 hours to come up with a fully functioning calculator. By God's grace (my lab partner, jon's a Christian too, which is awesome) we found the problem in the last 5 minutes of our last lab and everything just fell into place. Couldn't have done it without jon. But that's just hardware, now we're getting into full gear software.

Our workstation

You can imagine how it feels like to finally see this word!

Then there's another lab and another project with 2 other different partners, where i'm blessed again to have great partners.


Everything is due this month, and to top it all off, lecturers are having in-class tests that carry 10% each every week!

But studies aside, i've also been carrying the thought of the cross around with me more than ever all week. It's amazing how that memory never grows old, always seems as fresh as ever. As heartbreaking as ever, but then as joyful as ever.

I've heard of the Lifehouse Everything Skit quite some time ago, when a guy friend quietly admitted to me that he teared after watching the video. I checked it out, but it didn't have much effect on me. Sure, it was touching. But at that point in time, it just didn't have any effect on me, cause i guess i've also seen such skits before so it was nothing phenomenal.

Now, after weeks of practice with the youth cast of the exact same skit, i only need to listen to the song to visualise the acting. And last night, while preparing the ending video to the skit for tonight and easter, the song broke my heart.

Okay, as huge an influence as music has in my life, i've always been careful, cause i never want to be touched just because the music at that moment was right, or the atmosphere at that moment just climaxed. So let me tell you what just hit.

You're everything.

That line just broke down a lot of what i've been fighting with recently. The struggles that i've tried to share, but ultimately find that only God will fully understand.

Is everything fixed? No, of course not. The struggles will still have to be fought, the fears will still have to be met, and the pain will still have to be faced. But it doesn't hurt, to know that this God cares. This God, who went through so much more than i can ever fathom, who knows what i am going through, and who went through worse because He loves me.

He was broken for me. What can't i face with Him? What can be so great He cannot carry me through it?

So as we remember His sacrifice, as we walk through His life here on earth, as we walk through that night in Gethsemane, as we realise it was our hands, our sins that nailed him to the cross, may we remember just how much He loves us. And find comfort and strength in that.

He is everything.