The title of this blogpost is how i've been feeling a lot lately.
I am such a sinner, making the same mistakes that affect others, displeasing Him over and over and over again. God's mercy spares me from the worse that could happen, and His grace lavishes me with blessings that not only do i not deserve, sometimes, i am afraid to receive.
Titus 2:11 speaks of the grace of God that we are soaked in. David Crowder in their new single, puts it accurately when they said 'if grace were an ocean we're all sinking'.
I have been feeling extremely unworthy lately. Unworthy of God's grace. Don't get me wrong. Yes, this is exactly the feeling that should live with us. 'Cause in fact, we are unworthy of anything from God. The very faith that we have is a gift (Eph 2:8). But of course this realisation of unworthiness, instead of drowning us in helplessness forever, should be channelled accordingly towards the way we live our lives, because we are not hopeless people. It should shine through every one of our actions, knowing we deserve nothing from Him who gave everything, all the more we should urgently live for Him.
Everthing i have is unmerited. Boy, that sure is a big blow to my ego. Sometimes i wonder where human pride comes from. Where my pride comes from. To know i am worth nothing. It must all have been built on lies. Lies that are refined until they resemble the truth. Told so often, that i myself start believing, hey, i am something of worth on my own.
I fear God. Revelations 8 talks about what happens when God's grace is taken away, and that scares me. To know that it is only the layer of God's grace that is shielding me from His own wrath. What's more, it isn't a thin layer. Such irony, the very thing that strikes fear in me, is the same thing that comforts me.
Our God is an awesome God.
4 comments:
Amen!
Wow.. So what you've been going through all goes down to you thinking you've failed God many times (lately)? Well, honestly speaking I do agree with what you wrote: "We are never worthy enough of getting what we get from God" or something like that. Sorry for my bad memory xD
True. Usually we think this when we are in bad situations and somehow get out of it. I'm sure we all have experienced it.. Just do what you should do, keep your spirits up and all will fall into place. If not.. well, I guess God has good reasons for it. (It does happen a lot of times to me, and I'm seeing why now. Haha) But just keep moving forward ;)
And.. everytime you're in bad situations, I notice your blog post will contain lots of stuff about God and the Bible.. Not to say it's wrong.. But maybe for a change you'd like to lessen this habit? Maaayyybee God wants you to find a different way to solve your problems. After all, I believe somewhere in the Bible God says "what you do in secret will be rewarded" or something. Could posting this on a blog be.. well.. you know?
But hey, it's only a suggestion. May not be a good one though.. In the end, it's up to you to make the choices. But whatever happens, just do this one thing that at least most of the time works: THINK POSITIVE!! =D
hey clarence what's up how's brunei rolling out? (transformer mania haha)
hmm, this isn't really only a "result of bad situation" post. but interesting comment! let's talk it out when i see you on msn at night! =) p/s: i had sushi today ahhh but not such a huge spread as yours :P
Hi Sarah :) Brunei's HOT! ><" XD Sort of transformer mania, but saving up cash first xD
Sure sure. The bad thing is I always get you at the wrong time. LOL How about we set a time to chat tomorrow? :) I think I'll be on by 9 pm, if not 10 pm ;)
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