essential yet appealed.

i am this close to taking a peanut butter sandwich and stuffing it in my mouth.actually i already did.i tend to be hungry when i have lots of work to complete,because it helps me escape from the workplace(namely in front of the computer)into the kitchen.woohoo.but back in front of the comp again in no time.

i realised i haven't blogged in some time,basically because i've been really busy with homework and writing doesnt appeal as much anymore particularly after numerous english classes and assignments strictly requiring academic writing.simply put-i suck at academic writing.big time.huge time.colossal time.yes i am fully aware that this is informal language.

anyways,God has been good through a hectic time.He's the only One holding me together when things seem unbearable.really, how do people make it without God,i'll never understand.

my writing is boring.(at least i havent lost everything,i can still make it rhyme=P)

let's waste time chasing cars

my self-confidence is waning and falling apart bit by bit.that can't be good can it?but then again it gets me thinking.maybe it's falling apart because it wasn't based on the right things.

i think God is tearing this self-confidence apart to lay the right foundation for a Christ-confidence.a confidence not in myself,what i can do or who i am,but in Christ and who He is,what He's done and what He has promised.

and that kind of confidence can only grow stronger and mature day by day.it's worth the wait-
can't wait.

it's bittersweet to hear you laugh

i think i've got writer's block.i can't complete my reader response which is due on monday let alone write a blogpost.

makes me wonder.

i am full of earth,You are heaven's worth

yes!i watched shrek.
no!it was a lil too short.

went for a movie with ivan today.well the initial plan included many people that i booked 10 tickets.we collected 2.things happen you know?
after the movie we decided to watch another.despite our cramped legs.

we lined for ocean's 13 tickets. then we played time crisis and daytona-ed.
woohoo..haha..where i lost spectacularly to ivan.then he asked if i knew how to 'drift'.i'm like huh?and he's like owh,no wonder u lost so badly. like hello?drift?i just play with the steering wheel.isnt that the whole point?

ocean's 13 is good in a con man sense(duh) but there were times where we'd ask each other huh?and the limited spacing for our legs didnt help.haha.before going home we stopped by the jusco arcade and played the cycling race thing where ivan made a shocking discovery that he needs exercise.haha.you'd think that a guy who can pump 58 in 60 secs wouldnt feel the pain.wrong.after air hockey we headed home.

you know in shrek today there was a scene where it was said that it doenst matter what people think about you,but what you think about yourself.
there's a point there,but at the end of the day,what matters the most is that we're accoutable to God about how we act.

more often than not we're so engrossed in caring about what people think of us,and trying to make them like us,that in the process we lose our true self.we become someone the world wants us to be, someone we're not.we become what God doesnt want us to be.and that defeats the wole purpose.

in a way i actually understand when people say they're not sure who they are anymore.well, it's time to make sure and stick with it.
who am i anyway?

slowing down i look around and i'm so amazed

sometimes it takes a slower pace to actually realise and appreciate what's going on not around us,but in our lives.so many of God's works in our lives is overlooked as a price of our short-sightedness that can't see past our troubles and worries.
there's rarely one day i live without a worry playing in my mind.it may be the most petty,worthless worry,but it's a worry.in contrast,it may be a worry that can be so major it turns into a dread.

or it may just be a difficulty we're facing.

the way i see it,or rather,the way i'm learning to see it is that without these,it's just impossible for us to feel God's faithful presence with us and see Him work His wonder in our lives.and ironic as it is,i found my love for Him growing painfully,realising even more just how much He is my everything.

my worries and troubles dont just fade away the moment i realise that mind you.but it definitely makes them easier to face knowing it all works together into a plan for me and that He's just always there with me.

i don't need a too complicated life.i hope to live a life that can be summed up in one simple sentence-

she lived everyday striving to be like Christ.

all heavens declare

why is it made hard?
cause when it's easy we think we can do it by ourselves.
why is it painful?
cause when it doesnt hurt we don't need anyone to comfort us.
why is it so slow?
cause when it's fast we don't learn.
why is it different for us?
cause if it wasnt we wouldn't be Christians.

so, how long do we hold on?