Friday, March 30, 2007

the simple bare necessities

hey.
i went for meet the robinsons and just follow law with sueyen yesterday.both movies were great,and i couldn't stop laughing for just follow law which is great since it's been pretty hard for me to actually laugh recently.going out with only sueyen was actually really cool.we spent a lotta time talking in the train,eating and waiting for both movies..she has always been the more reserved one among us 6 good budds but has definitely become more crazy thanks to us truly.haha.we've been in the same class for five years straight.when she first came to sit with me in f1 she thought i was mad,and had a lil fear of me.haha.now....wow.those were the days man.

phoon was supposed to come along but at the last minute she had to go settle her college payments.that was the 2nd time she blew me off our plans this week.haha.

teenage mutant ninja turtles opens april 5th.i so cannot wait.i love ninja turtles.if only they'd screen mighty morphin power rangers as well.

oh well,you cant have everything in life.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

I need You now

i havent been in a very good state these few days..
just so weighed down with worries that arent my own.

i dunno how i made them mine cause i'm affected.a part of me is happy cause i know how much more i need God and i depend on Him so much more but for most of the part(and a big,chunky one too)i'm just bothered and distracted.

but what matt said to me before really stuck with me.he said sometimes it's better to have the times when we're uncertain of what's gonna happen so we learn to depend more on God rather than to have certainties.
and it's true.totally true.but honestly,i'm burnt out.

but i know it's a learning process.a growing process.
i'm learning to depend more.to trust Him more.

i can feel myself growing.but at the same time,
i feel myself falling out.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

i melt with you

i am a movie freak.

just wanted to share.ahh..feels good to get that out.;)

i've been going through my fair share of rotting.half at home and half in the movies.but i'm enjoying rotting.at least until i have to start using my brains again.it's not exactly functioning properly right now.it went on a world tour for a break after spm.sigh,some body parts are just so blessed.

i miss highschool.no,not highschool as in the toilets*freaks out*no wayyyy.haha.i meant like i miss hanging out with my budds and stuff..wrecking havoc in class,dragging our feet to the lab,messing with litium and causing a big explosion that made teacher angry for days=P
yeah,something like that.

i need to get my typing straight.i cant seem to get the question mark out right.it keeps coming out as a stroke.it's either me or the shift key.

i pick the shift key.

Sunday, March 18, 2007

waiting,just to hear that still small voice of you

whoops.
just didnt have the time to blog..been quite busy with..well,everything.
i guess i'd rather have myself occupied than just rot doing nuthin..but there are a couple of books i have yet to finish.steven king's cell being a prime example of books that got me reading as far as the1st chapter.not like it's not interesting.it is.
i've just yet to find a novel that gets me reading over and over like harry potter.care to delve?

youths went to the procare nursing home in taman oug yesterday.though expected,it doesnt make it any easier to see those old people there.. lonely and so glad of company..though we're much younger..they just wanted to talk,chat..and it just gets me thinking..man..sometimes it just gets to me so much.
while we're getting on with our usual lives someone's out there unhappy with life..dissatisfied..looking for a source..something,someone to just fill that emptiness in them.and we hold that most valuable,precious answer yet sometimes we're just unwilling to share it.why?

got home about5.30today after choir prac..took the train with sis..it was crazy..as usual ktm had many masalah technical so quite a few trains didnt make their rounds and the platform was packed..so whn the train came somehow hannah got in and i didnt..and she got in real deep n cudnt come out and it was so packed i cudnt go in anymore.so yeah,i took the next train..great day for it to happen,just when my phone batt decided it was the best time to die on me=P

what is cool?
like what makes teenagers,kids my age feel cool?in control..
cause i'm really at a lost looking at how ppl just get influenced so easily..
they start swearing,getting drunk,and the most sad thing is that they forget God.before everything there was God in their lives.but in just that few destructive moments,suddenly God just,disappeared.

and that kills me.cause if God was so apart of their lives like how they protrayed it,then how in the world can a few days of mixing with the wrong people,of more freedom take Him away just like that?
the only conclusion that makes sense to me is that God was never so important to them than they made it to be.
that it was all fake.
prove me wrong....
somebody.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

and i'm forever grateful to You.

what can i say?
to think i was stupid enough to worry that the fact that i wasn't as faithful to God as i should be would cause God to not be faithful..how can i compare God to human qualities?
cause one thing for sure i know-He who promised is faithful.

9As1B is totally more than what i thought i would get waking up on that fateful day.i didnt really have time to worry about in before cause i was in ns and all..mind was occupied..but on that morning it all just came rushing to me..how tough the papers were and you know,the whole standard process of getting major exam's results.;)

i'm officially a high school graduate who's going to get her master degree in mechatronics engineering in the university of nottingham.

yupe.
too fast?neh.



You did not wait for me - to draw near to You
But You clothed Yourself with frail humanity
You did not wait for me - to cry out to You
but You let me hear Your voice calling me


And I'm forever grateful to You
I'm forever grateful for the cross
I'm forever grateful to You
That You came
To seek and save the lost.

Sunday, March 11, 2007

i never wanna say goodbye

i'm back.for good.
i actually experienced for the first time a very painful goodbye(of if u wanna get techy-goodbyes)today.i never really knew how hard it would be to say goodbye.

but i guess spending every waking and even sleeping moment with the same people everyday,you would whether you like it or not grow some love for those people.a love you wont realise is there until it's farewell time.
which is probably why it hurts more.

i cried when i went for ns.cause i was super homesick and i just wanted to go home.i just didnt believe all the crap that as told to me then that sooner or later i'd enjoy myself.
but i was wrong.
and i guess u wouldn't believe it too.u just gotta experience it for urself.

and i cried when i have to leave.especially when my sabah sarawak budds had to leave in the mid of the night.that sucked the most.

a day before goodbye,people were already crying and i just didn't.i thought i wouldnt.
i thought wrong.
this is where it gets interesting.i was really sad when everyone were saying their goodbyes in the dewan makan the night before we left but i didnt cry.what triggered my tears?
i shed tears when i realised that my silat partner,miera whom i've spent too much time with prac silat(and having fun at that too)is going back to terengganu.i dont know why but at that moment the fact killed me.

i'll blog more about camp when i get the chance.

got home at9.30today,showered hurriedly and left for church.choir practice and worship team practice till bout6.then dinner at unc.raymond's hse.got home at9.30.slept only2hours in the last night at ns.results tmr?i'm a lil numb,but i'll just put my trust in the One who knows what's best for me.

i am wiped out.

but more than that,
i really miss them a lot.