Sunday, December 30, 2007

Great is Thy faithfulness

Who am i, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain,
And calm the storm in me?

Are you serious? this God, in all His majesty, would reach out to my heart, and calm the battles raging within me?

i mean, why bother?

but He bothers. very much indeed. so much so that He sent His One and only Son as a payment for my imperfections, so that in His eyes, I become perfect.

and that, as another year approaches, is what i thank God for, having made the year another wonderful one with His love's ultimate gift.

this past year was a big year for me. i went for National Service, got my SPM results and started university.

there were times i trusted God more, there were times i took Him for granted.

i grew in my walk with Jesus, i grew in my character.

Through many dangers, toils and snares
I have already come
'Tis Grace that brought me safe thus far
and Grace will lead me home.

as God blesses me with another year of living for Him, i pray for more intimacy with Him, perseverence in everything i face, and more pocket money. okay, maybe the last one not so much.

Through it all

You are forever in my life
You see me through the seasons
Cover me with Your hand
And lead me in Your righteousness

And I look to You
And I wait on You

I will sing to You, Lord
A hymn of love
For Your faithfulness to me
Im carried in everlasting arms
Youll never let me go
Through it all

Hallelujah, hallelujah

Monday, December 24, 2007

the hopes and fears of all the years are met in Thee tonight.

it's 12.30am so technically it's one day to Christmas.

the presents under the tree is nearing their unwrapping.
i got hannah something totally out of my budget, and way big. so she's been guessing. bekah gave her a clue, that the gift starts with c and ends with r. she used the dictionary for the first time in her life i think.
ok maybe not.

so for now, she thinks it's either a chair, a calculator, a calendar, a cucumber or a chandelier.
i won't let it out in case she reads this before midnight today, though i doubt it. Christmas eve is a busy day.

it's hard to stay focused on the true cause of Christmas celebration amidst worldly commercials.
still, as Christians, Christmas is one of the best times to witness to others about Jesus. and we must not lose sight of that.

i will sit, and meditate, and probe my feelings. will Christmas still be Christmas if on the 25th i'm alone in my room with no celebration or presents whatsoever? only a time for me to privately thank God for the birth of Jesus.

nothing makes me more happy than when my answer is yes. when i know that to me, Christmas is nothing more than the beginning of God's salvation plan in action.

if you have not accepted Jesus into your lives, however elaborate your Christmas may be, you are being restraint from the true joy of Christmas.

that this God, has come close enough to us. Immanuel- God with us. that human are able to touch, kiss Him not knowing they have kissed God.

indeed, that is the true joy of Christmas.

Blessed Christmas (:

Christmas isn't Christmas.

Christmas isn't Christmas till it happens in your heart
Somewhere deep inside you is where Christmas really starts
So give your ehart to Jesus, you'll discover when you do
That it;s Christmas really Christmas for you.

Jesus brings warmth like a winter fire
A light like a candle glow
He's waiting now to come inside
As He did so long ago
Jesus brings gifts of truth and life
And makes them bloom and grow
So welcome Him with a song of joy
And when He comes you'll know, that-

Saturday, December 22, 2007

do you feel what i mean?

wow. it has been a busy 3 weeks break begun last saturday after our 2nd test. the purpose of this break is to study for another test- our finals. what else, right?so for the past week i've been taking full advantage of the after-exam fever (ignoring the coming one la). i've been going out everyday. now i have to seriously consider the fact that i have a lot to cover in only about 2 weeks.

genting with my family was fun. but i was never made for thrill rides. so genting was never my favourite getaway. still, this trip, i braved more rides than i'd have dared to before.hannah took the space shot by herself. you can kill me, skin me and eat me but you can never get me on that freak ride.

being the more intelligent ones, bekah and i went and fed ourselves while hannah lined up and mum and dad went and check in.

besides that, the outing yesterday with ashy and sue yen is also worth mentioning cause Alvin and the chipmunks and National Treasure 2 rockss!!! oh, and of course the quality time we had was good. haha.

oh, watched i am legend with uni friends. it was.. err.. ok la. not jumping about it. but like hiewmun points out, steph and i were still laughing the whole movie while she was hiding behind dom's shirt. no la=P

we met nick and the gang, and gosh, i didn't know Gan can grow even taller.
that picture cannot be uploaded. maybe gan's too tall he takes up too much memory or something. haha.

i really have a lot to tell. i'll save it for another post.
i miss some people. what happened to our friendship?

Saturday, December 08, 2007

i guess i let you get the best of me

it's been awhile. i've been kept busy with studies.

i had a great birthday. from midnight till well, midnight, i got lots of sms-es and calls. my ns friends actually remembered, and hearing from them made me really miss the times we had.

watched mr magorium's wonder emporium after class with rachel, queenie and jennifer.
hiewmun, dominic and joshua went and got me the cake the day before. on the day, the surprise was ruined just because i'm too alert for my own good. or maybe they were just too obvious.

God's been so good. 18 years of living has proved God's faithfulness.
This song sums my 18 years of life with God.

Brian Littrell- You Keep Giving Me
So many reasons to be thankful
So many blessings that I can't repay
And I never would've made it here without You
Sending angels to guide me on my way

You keep givin' me joy
You keep givin' me happiness
You keep givin' me hope
You keep givin' me everything I wish
You keep givin' holding me on
When I'm about to fall
And if even all of that was not enough
You keep givin' me love(You're givin', You're givin' me love)

I know that I'm not always easy
And I know I put You through some trying days
But in spite of all the worries that I gave You
No, You never let my Angels get away

You keep givin' me joy
You keep givin' me happiness
You keep givin' me hope
You keep givin' me everything I wish
You keep givin' holding me on
When I'm about to fall
And if even all of that was not enough
You keep givin' me love

Have I told You lately (have I told ya)
How Your love has saved me
It takes me to place I've only dreamed
I'm so thankful, Lord, for sending me angels

You keep givin' me joy
You keep givin' me happiness
You keep givin' me hope
You keep givin' me everything I wish
You keep givin' holding me
When I'm about to fall
And if even all of that was not enough[X2]
You send angels to guide me from up above
You just keep gvin' me
You just keep givin' me love

yesss, it says happy birthday sarah bananah. they can't even get the spelling right.
obviously, someone needs to refine their cake-cutting tecniques.

Friday, November 23, 2007

the world we live

is ignorance really bliss?

i should think so.

to ignore is not to care.
not to care is not feeling.
not feeling, would, i presume, indeed be bliss.

there are times, we crave for ignorance. but as humans, we generally cannot ignore, no matter how hard we try. we attempt to block our feelings, to no avail.

why do we have to care when not caring would be easier?

maybe. just maybe.

Saturday, November 17, 2007

Your grace is greater than my need

mum took out her packs of balloon and pump today after they were collecting dust for awhile. naturally, i wanted a green sword. killed bekah with it.

she made so many animals. house like colourful zoo. if they all burst together i'm gonna get a heart attack.

being a Christian these days is the in thing. why not? you make a big group of Christian friends, you get to hang out at fun gatherings, rallies, you listen to cool Christian bands. being ashamed is a thing of the past.

as teenagers, sometimes being a Christian becomes more of a tool for social benefit.

when this is done, you realise they don't have the priority of worshipping and remembering God on Sundays, they rarely if never talk about what their faith is all about, assuming they even know. and sometimes, they don't even show good testimony as Christians. God is not glorified in their "Christian" lives.

Christianity is not a fad.

it's not what is cool today and out next week. like the title of kutless' song says, it is the promise of a lifetime. it's about how you live today, who you're living it for, and where you're gonna be after this life here on earth is over. it's about this awesome Saviour who has given us so much more than social acceptance or security. He has given us hope. that even in the worst of days, as Christians, we can rejoice in this hope.

it is a chance that we're given to experience intimacy in a personal relationship with this very Saviour.that is what being a Christian is all about.

Friday, November 16, 2007

give me one moment in time

my first test is over. i thought after a few nights of excessive studying and last minute cramming, i would look forward to sleep late tonight but for more entertaining reasons. i did. but now, my eyes can barely stay open. so much for a fun, late night.

bekah got two little mini trophies on hari kecemerlangan cause she got 100% for math and 3rd in class. each weighs like 3 of my fingers.

some banana chocolate chip donkey called peiling tagged me again.

RULES:1. The tag victim has to come up with 8 different points about his/her perfect lover.
2. Have to mention the gender of his/her perfect lover.
3. Tag eight other victims to join this game and leave a comment on their blog.
4. If you are tagged the second time, there is NO need to do this again.
5. Lastly, and most importantly, HAVE FUN DOING IT.

i doubt i can list eight, because honestly, i'm not sure myself. but you'll find the essentials. when the right guy comes along, i'll let you know the tiny bits. maybe.

he has to be a Christian. not just that, a mature Christian, one who is in a deep and serious relationship with God.

that said, knowing how to play the guitar like santana, piano like jamie cullum, drums like [i have no specifications as long as awesome cool] and saxaphone like kenny g would score a few(maybe more) points.

i have to agree with peiling here. i love kids. so honestly, if he can't stand to be around kids, i'll have serious doubts. though if he plays we can still jam*wink*

that's it. that's all i can think of. i can't really be bothered get into specifics.
and peiling, there are like 3 million other bloggers you link to on your blog. let's try to be fair and tag the poor *ahem* ones who never got a chance.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

only when no one is watching, that we really fall apart


a lotta stuff has happened since i last blogged.i'll fill you guys in on the visit to the orphanage we had soon.(note:definition for soon is not available)

to many, sometimes the ten commandments unconsciously becomes the 9 commandments. i mean, surely number six can be checked off. after all, i most probably won't be killing anyone anytime soon right?


"You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, "Do not murder," and anyone who murders will be subject to judgement. But i tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgement..."

interpreted, this means that when we hold grudges and and anger in our heart against one another, essentially, we are no different from someone who chooses to actually kill someone else.

maybe the implications may not be exactly the same. maybe many of us don't like to be compared to actual murderers. but think about it. the circumstances that lead to murder are that of jealousy, anger, feeling of betrayal, revenge and the likes. we, though may not have actually killed anyone, are not exempt from these feelings any more than they are.
we may not express it through our actions, but saving venom like these in our hearts is just as bad.
....Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.(1Samuel 16:7)

i cannot count the times i have disliked someone to the point of wishing that person did not exist at all. having done that i am guilty of degrading a being created in God's image.

God's love is strong enough to erase all anger from our hearts. he can help us forgive those we deem unforgivable, love those who seem unlovable.

let us live for the glory of His renown, knowing at the end we are answerable to God for our actions and thoughts.

Saturday, October 20, 2007

yang letih meski mencoba

i am a malaysian.

this sentence i have uttered since i was a zygote, in a manner of speaking.
but today, i realised i'm not just a malaysian.i'm a malaysian who doesnt know her way around cheras cum kl.this is frustrating.

5 of us in our moral studies assignment group went exploring for an orphanage cut our long traveling story short, we got lost many times, made
countless u-turns, asked various people for directions and made it to 3 orphanage.

haven't really decided on which to go after checking those out but i guess most of us already made up our mind that we want to go to the one with 15 children instead of the one with 106.

after starving, fantasizing and talking non-stop about places with good food, we had lunch at [insert name here] at tesco extra since we had to get some grocery for when we're visiting the orphanage.

weiwen was basically responsible for all the laughs due to his many mispronunciations that led to misunderstanding of words. i would share, but then again, after a whole day, i guess i should save weiwen some face.

the little adventure was good. but lunch was better.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

all i need is here

i just realised that mark schultz is kinda bald.(the word kinda is inserted cause i think he has some hair.)

i's just that when i listen to his songs he doesn't sound bald.he sound wonderfully pun intended.
okay i sound stupid if i may say so myself.i just did.haha.i'm so lame sometimes.*shrugs*

uni's workload is getting to me.the fact that i have to muster all my 'never-really-was-there' resolution to get some work done gets to me even more.why can't i just be hardworking like a,um, hardworking person?(yes, i know my vocab is amazingly wide)

this post was intended for my discovery of mark schultz's(hard to spell, hard to spell) i guess i'll just go to bed now.

i mean, i guess i'll just go do some tutorials.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

the universe declares in awe

i can drift!!

well, in arcade racing at least. and i don't do it very well yet. nevertheless, the point is my car drifts and that, my dear readers causes me much joy.

i was waiting for the ktm today at midvalley after resident evil(trust me, ivan mak's choice of movie will never top my list again) and i was listening to hillsong united's none but Jesus and this particular line stood out today:

crucified to set me free

now, today it hit me because prior to that line i was just staring at the train tracks and contemplating the rush of life. mine, specifically. there's so much going on i tend to get worked up over small stuff. menial things worry me. my repeated failure to triumph over sins in my life gets to me.
why do i keep losing?

my mom was just reminding us the other day about something she read.
satan is only deceiving us.because he's already lost. Jesus has already won the battle. there's no more losing for us.

Jesus died so that we can be free.
and generally, we dont reflect a life that's been set free. we're often bound by things of the earth. fear, studies(surprise, surprise) relationships, work, the future.

how can you not worry about tomorrow?
tsunami's a definite possibility, paedophiles are roaming free, tomorrow's lecture's gonna be a killer. i can't even trust my life into the hands of the bus driver these days for a 30minutes journey.

the thing is, Jesus died so that we can live a life of freedom. we're free to go out and be salt and light of the world(Matthew 5:13-16) without being held back.

who cares if tsunami kills us tomorrow?
are we going to waste today worrying about a tomorrow that might never come?

or are we going to use today for God's glory, so that if tomorrow never comes here on earth, at least we did all we could today?

For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.
Philippians 1:21

Thursday, October 11, 2007

i'm clinging to the promise of a lifetime

i do realise it has been quite some time since i've blogged.i could feed excuses like studies and assignments but the fact is i'm just plain lazy.

it's been hectic with work and stuff in uni but before it could go further i've got another week's worth of raya break.on the first day of break itself yesterday 5 of us went to sunway lagoon.

it's really weird to go with a bunch of engineer wannabes cause try to do calculations and applications with the rides when we tried to calculate the centripetal force of pirate master.and we raced down what we call the superman water slide.who reached the bottom first,who landed the furthest we took all into account.obviously we were no competition for the guys at the landing part.

anyways,when we got there,we did the dry rides 1st and they were all like practically running for the, me not being such a fan of wild rides was reluctant but it was 4 against 1 and they persuaded me to have a go. so i did. i shouted my head off on it and was pretty relieved when it was over.since it was a weekday there werent many people, they stayed put and asked for a 2nd go.

i was like fighting to get out.but the wretched bar wouldnt it was another terror ride.

then it was pirate master and tomahawk which were pretty alike..theyre like a boat which swings you till you go 360degress around.that i was adamant i wouldnt get on.they dragged me but having gained my strength back on the ground i they just gave in and handed me clarence's camera with which i failed to capture a single photo with them in it.

then finally we went to the water park and whoa, was it a splash!it was awesome but tiring the end of the day we scaled sunway pyramid for a food's gotten really big since the last time i've been there.and we were starving so much we munched on potato wedges in search of a restaurant.ended up in kim gary.we walked a lil after that and ate(again..haha)ice cream.

on the way home we were a kinda caught in the after work jam which sucked.encountered about 15 tolls on the way back, no exaggerations. got home safe.fell into bed totally wiped out.good day.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

cause we are all searching for a saviour

i've been indirectly following the progress of Britney Spears' much publicised 'personal' problems, from drugs to an alleged hit-and-run to fighting for the custody of her two sons.

there are a lot more news where that came from, but my reaction was not of one who wanted to pry more into the life of this already troubled celebrity. i don't know about Britney, but i know if all these were happening to me, i would want media coverage to be minimal, if not none at all.

besides wondering what is gonna be of her two sons, i can't help but wonder what's gonna happen to britney herself. to us readers, she is merely another celebrity gone bad. the probability that she may be going through a difficult time, possibly personal struggles, silent tears and painful remorse doesnt move us as it is supposed to.

contrary to extremely popular belief, celebrities do face personal turmoils and they too need God. they're pretty similar to us, probably with the exception that they rake in more bucks and the paparazzis are much more interested in their pictures.

i think sometimes, we have this feeling that celebrities deserve these troubles that they are put through whatever the reason may be. when we read stories like these about them, we say 'there you go. that's what you get for putting yourself out there like a cheap (pardon the language) whore. that's what happens when you let yourself get drowned by the spotlight of fame.'

the thing is, we're not much different. okay, so maybe our mistakes don't cost us that much because we dont get hounded by the press. maybe we're less wild compared to celebrities. still, everyone makes mistakes that they know are mistakes but they go ahead and make it anyway.

would it be so wrong if we actually included these people into our prayers? if we can't be crazy fans who stalk them, let's be caring Christians who pray for them.

it breaks our hearts right when cases like that of Nurin's happen. it wrenches my heart more when i know that only Jesus can grant the 'peace which transcends all understanding' (Philipians 4:7) to the hurting families, and only we Christians can share it to them.

it's the same with everyone whatever their social ranking is, because to God, we're all equal. His love doesnt increase or decrease with social status.

so maybe it's time we see everyone in the same light as Jesus sees them.
the light of love and compassion.

gosh, is it really that hard?

Saturday, September 22, 2007

you can have all this world, but give me Jesus

The Sweetest Name Of All
Tom Coomes

Jesus, You're the Sweetest name of all
Jesus, you always hear me when I call
Oh Jesus, You pick me up each time I fall
You're the sweetest, sweetest name of all

Jesus, how I love to praise your name
Jesus, you're the first, the last, the same
Oh Jesus, You died and took away my shame
You're the sweetest, sweetest name of all

Jesus, you're the soon and coming King
Jesus, we need the love that you can bring
Oh Jesus, we lift our voices up and sing
You're the sweetest, sweetest name of all

in the midst of life's extreme business, painful incidents, temporary satisfaction, short-lived happiness, Jesus is still the name that stands above everything. He remains the solid, ever present figure that we can run back to, cling on to. when doubt and fear floods us, He's the One with the comfort and assurance.

i cannot imagine my life without the name Jesus, because He has become my life.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

if it costs me everything

for a moment i actually forgot i had a blog.

so i dont have a job anymore.taking this last week and a little more to enjoy what's left before i become a student again.or to specify,a studying student.
the privilege of waking in the afternoon is given me again and like a homesick rat (in memory of my undying longing to watch ratatouille which, despite the fact that i've watched even hairspray and knocked up, i have yet to watch) i embrace the opportunity.

after much in-depth soul searching and uncertain confirmations, i realised i actually miss doing math. not so much as missing maths, i just miss the head-scratching and sometimes impatient solving process, and then the unexplainable satisfaction which comes with getting the right answer.

on a more humanly acceptable note(i can think up plenty of names of the math people whom i would apologise to but it's alright. they need to learn the truth anyway) i've been learning jay chou's new song from his movie secret using romanized lyrics(duh,what else were you thinking?) and a guitar with a broken string.
the thing is,you cant really play the guitar with a broken 3rd's okay if it's the 1st or 6th but without the 3rd,it's really weird music you're making.and it doesnt help that i'm not sure about the way i'm singing the chinese words so let's not add vegetables on chocolates*.

(*only applicable to people who share my taste in bad food)

i like a lotta chinese songs but learning them is a slightly longer process than learning english or malay songs.i do enjoy the learning,but i dont much fancy finding out the song name. i'm not about to sing it in front of people(actually i do sometimes but they dont recognise it anyway..guess malaysian idol isnt really my calling) and on chinese stations it's not always easy to understand what the djs are saying.
stop your gawking.i listened to these stations when i went to work with my aunts.

helplessness is the first step of faith.the realisation of our overpowering need and His total sufficiency is where faith begins.

so how can we have faith in God when we're so full of ourselves?

Sunday, September 09, 2007

i lay my life before you and i'm not getting up

I Offer My Life

All that I am, all that I have
I lay them down before you, oh Lord
All my regrets, all my acclaims
The joy and the pain, I'm making them yours

Lord, I offer my life to you
Everything I've been through
Use it for your glory
Lord I offer my days to you
Lifting my praise to you
As a pleasing sacrifice
Lord I offer you my life

Things in the past, things yet unseen
Wishes and dreams that are yet to come true
All of my hopes,All of my plans
My heart and my hands are lifted to you

What can we give
That you have not given?
And what do we have
That is not already yours?
All we possess
Are these lives we're living
That's what we give to you, Lord

Is this just a favourite regular praise and worship song that we sing?one that while singing we appreciate the tune,meaning it when we sing but honestly,not meaning it at all?

or is it a hard reminder,a song that is actually a rededication of our lives as a living sacrifice?to mean it when we sing and to get down and do it even when the song is not playing?

sacrificing our lives is not as easy as we think.
cause it means we cant own it.

Thursday, September 06, 2007

Letting go of me,holding on to You

back anyway(note:anyway,not anyways.i'm trying to be proper.)
anyways(oh well,it was worth the effort as far as it went) it's been another week and weird enough i only worked for one day.monday.then i didnt feel well again and went to see another doctor.then on the next day i went to pantai cheras(uh,it's a hospital,not a beach.look i'm sensitive towards the ignorant okay?)to see the ENT specialist and to cut the story short,i've seen a lotta doctors and spent more than i make in a week.not that i do the,u get me.haha.

at the moment i'm very much into big Daddy Weave's Completely free,not just because the guitar plucking's good.and the one sentence that keeps singing itself into my head is 'He looked past the moment to where we are now'.

Jesus looked past the moment of intense pain and torture,of being forsaken to see us sinful people living a lost life with no hope.and with that thought,He endured the cross for us.

so,is it any different with us?can we possibly look past our anxieties,anguish,worries and hurt to where we are going to be spending eternity with the God who suffered worse for us?it only seems right that we give a little back so that when the day comes,we'll be able to hear the desired words,'Well done,good and faithful servant'.

i have faith that we can,if we pray and ask God to give us wisdom to truly appreciate His sufferings,because oftentimes,it's underated.super duper underated.

so my question is,if the god who went through worse before us looked past His moment for us,and is now reigning and living in us,what is stopping us from looking past our moments for Him?

Big Daddy Weave-Completely Free

Broken and poured out for the love of His creation
God paid a debt that He didn't owe
Bearing my pain for not one was His equal
And wearing my shame so that I could know him

He gave us all He had to give
So that we could truly live
So let's give all we have to Him
So that we can be completely free

And as they placed the thorns on His brow
As they drove the nails into His hands and His feet
He looked past the moment
To where we are now
And gave us the victory
From what seemed His defeat

He said here's my body
It’s broken in two
Here is my blood let it cover you
All that I have is now yours to receive
Payment in full so that you could be free

Oh without a doubt completely
So that we can be completely free

Saturday, September 01, 2007

whatever you do,i'll be two steps behind you

it has been an eventful week,in the sense that on tuesday and thursday i took half-day leaves cause i wasnt feeling well.on thursday when i finally decided to see a doctor,i was told i had a slight low blood pressure thus explaining the reason that i've been feeling giddy and nauseous.

instead of feeling alarmed,i found it almost comical.i mean in reference to my non-existent medical knowledge,low blood pressure are for older and thinner people.and judging by my age and my size,i would think i'll be the last person to have low blood pressure.

nevertheless,once again i know why i'm not doing medicine(apart from the fact that i die at the sight of blood).because at the age of 17(going on 18 okay?)i'm taking pills for my blood pressure.
plus a few others the doctor prescribed.

anyways,i got my results.
in my fervent prayers that the Lord not to let me fail a particularly challenging paper,i had no hope that i'll be able to meet the required standards to maintain my scholarship.

still,God proved His power and faithfulness when He not only helped me pass that paper,my average percentage is sufficient to keep the scholarship.
so i'm left ashamed at my teeny weeny faith in God.

who's to measure God's endless power?

Saturday, August 25, 2007

the infinite cost

i have not been online for a week.

i so deserve a medal or something.
no scrap that.maybe a guitar.

anyways,i have plenty on my mind(which is tentative to the size of my mind la)but having trouble collecting them.

thus the worthless post.well,actually i wouldnt say it's completely worthless.i still harbour hope on the guitar thing.who knows,maybe some good samaritan will come along.
ahh..hope.the very thing that keeps us living.

i have an infatuation for ice lemon tea.

Sunday, August 19, 2007

i worship You

You think you know pain?
Jesus felt more.

You think you face injustice?
Jesus was treated so unfairly that justice didn’t seem to exist at that time at all,which when you think about it,didn’t.Not for Jesus anyway.where is the justice when the God of the universe decides to die for His creation?

there’s nothing there but love.

Pain?time will heal.Jesus will heal.Jesus is my comforter.
For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives,so also through Christ our comfort overflows.
2 Corinthians 1:5

Injustice?God will deal with it.
Do not repay anyone evil for evil.Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody.If it is possible,as far as it depends on you,live at peace with everyone.Do not take revenge,my friend,but leave room for Gods wrath,for it is written:”It is mine to avenge.I will repay,” says the Lord.
Romans 12:17-19

I like this part-
If it is possible,as far as it depends on you,live at peace with everybody.

We cant control people’s actions,but we sure can control ours.
people can dislike us and their treatment may be less than favourable.but we continue loving them with the love of Christ.

I cherish the many wonderful memories.
I thank God for the encouraging moments.

The shadows of these blessings last forever.

His Strength Is Perfect-Steven Curtis Chapman

I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength
But sometimes I wonder what He can do through me
No great success to show no glory of my own
Yet in my weakness He is there to let me know

His strength is perfect when our strength is gone
He’ll carry us when we can’t carry on
Raised in His power the weak becomes strong
His strength is perfect
His strength is perfect

We can only know the power that He holds
When we truly see how deep our weakness goes
His strength in us begins where ours comes to an end
He hears our humble cry and proves again

His strength is perfect when our strength is gone
He’ll carry us when we can’t carry on
Raised in His power the weak becomes strong
His strength is perfect
His strength is perfect

Friday, August 17, 2007

God paid a debt that He didnt owe

let's talk about my part time job.the one that is the only thing that can make me sit in front of the computer all day monopolising excel and nothing else.oh the temptation.

for this job,i stay with my aunts and grandparents.due to the past month of indefinite sleeping time and waking in the afternoons,i find it hard to sleep before at least 12.30am.and i have to wake at5.55am.

work starts at 8.30am..by8.35,i find it hard to keep my eyes open.yes.the semangat-ed 5minutes is all i can afford to squeeze out,which is about the time it takes for the computer to get started and running.

so predictably,by5.30,i'm ready to just lie on the desk and sleep there the remaining hours till the next day.of course,i feel like doing that at10 in the morning,during lunch,at3pm, get the drift.but that's beside the point.

still,in contrast,it is quite fun to experience but a small bit of the working life.

yet in the midst of it all,the pain,the injustice,remains.
so i continue praying.

harder than ever.

i just keep trusting my Lord as i walk along's ironic.
actually it fits.i watched facing the giants last week and it was a great and inspiring movie.and now...
it's like God said 'here sarah,watch this movie first cause then i'm gonna throw a couple of giants your way.then you'll be prepared with how to face it.'

it's not easy.gosh.memories make it harder to let go.
i'm actually glad of work.i get so busy it drives it out of my mind.but not completely.
i can be doing my work and still be thinking about it.

and i just keep praying.

Thursday, August 16, 2007


Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.
Proverbs 3:5-6

very familiar verse.the ever present comfort and reminder to trust in God when things dont seem do you not lean on your own understanding?

yet in the troubles there's another promise that i intend to claim.

Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God promised to those who love Him.
James 1:12

not only does God offer comfort,He promises a reward as well.

i yearn so much to just be able to surrender everything,give all that i dont understand to God and walk by faith alone.
but circumstances can make that seem so impossible.

i keep praying.

Sunday, August 12, 2007

let that be enough

you know the phrase 'God's love still stands when all else has fallen'?
now that's what we call a genuine guarantee,with no terms and conditions applied.

starting work this tuesday at my aunt's company as a temp staff.doing stuff like data entry and filing and stuff.which means i'll be staying with both my aunts and grandparents during the's something new to look forward to.something better.yes i know i love sleeping in and lazing around but after a whole solid month of doing that,i need a new angle.besides,new experiences never go amiss.oh and yes,the fact that i'll get paid pushes it up the scale a little too.

i wanted to blog about my sunday school kids but i'm getting a little lazy. maybe another day.or century.
i'm just getting to know them better and getting more acquainted with them each week and loving it.even the irritating bits are beginning to grow on me.after shouting myself hoarse, of course.

before i publish this,just an encouragement to brothers and sisters in Christ out there.we've got much more than we can fantasise about.let's live a life honouring that.and let's share the very core of our lives to others.

quoting from the movie 'facing the giants',
never give up.
never back down.
never lose faith.

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

When you can't trace His hands,trust His heart

got a call at 1.45am this morning only to find out that uncle kit keong passed away cause of heart home.

of course,it was crazy shocking news.when i was going to sleep i was actually reminding myself to tell uncle kit keong who'll be worship leading next week that i'm playing this week and benjamin will take my place next week.the things that can happen.although uncle moo was pretty close with my parents,i personally knew uncle kit keong better because of the many worship practice sessions with Him.

just when we're only getting over uncle moo's death last week,this's just a costly reminder that God can just take us home any moment even when we're least expecting it.

are we even ready to go and be with our Lord?are we ready to meet Him?
what are we going to say to Him?have we,and are we living lives that even if He takes us home now,we can say to Him that we have lived it fully for Him and done what He has commanded us to?

sarah is my sunday school student,and i do have short conversations with daniel and andrew every sunday.they're still schooling kids and teenagers.let's just remember them in our prayers.

suddenly the worries of life that can push us over with just seem so trivial.there're more important things we should be doing.

i woke up this morning to hear my mum repeating this song on the stereo.and in light of what is happening,the words carry even deeper comfort and meaning.

Babbie Mason-Trust His Heart

All things work for our good
though sometimes we can't see how they could
struggles that break our hearts in two
sometimes blinds us to the truth
Our Father knows what's best for us
His ways are not our own
So when your pathway grows dim,
and you just can't see Him
Remember you're never alone

God is too wise to be mistaken
God is too good to be unkind
So when you don't understand
When you don't see His plan
When you can't trace His hand
Trust His heart

He sees the master plan
And He holds our future in His hands
So don't live as those who have no hope
All our hope is found in Him
We see the present clearly
But He sees the first and the last
And like a tapestry He's weaving you and me
to someday be just like Him

God is too wise to be mistaken
God is too good to be unkind
So when you don't understand
When you don't see His plan
When you can't trace His hand
Trust His heart

He alone is faithful and true
He alone knows what is best for you
So when you don't understand
When you don't see His plan
When you can't trace His hand
trust His heart

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

you told me who i am

yet another post.

went to an orphanage with youths on was a pretty awesome experience save for the excessive sweating and name mix-ups.

to be honest,when we arrived there i was pretty hesitant about the reception we'd be getting.i was worried the kids wouldnt understand us much,and also i was more mentally prepared to do singing with kids around the age range of 5-10,never dreaming there would be those up to obviously my first reaction was one of anxiety.

still,i was foolish to even worry.the kids were amazing.they made us feel welcome in their home which was a cross between a hut and a shack and a mini kampung.even wilson's game was that obviously tells something about the kids.

we had a load of fun,not to mention striking moments of determination never to complain about trivial stuff like a bigger home,cause when you've been at theirs,it would be downright ungrateful.
there were a few rachels,a joel,a matthew..but no sarahs.
just a fun

Friday, July 20, 2007

For what it's worth,it was worth all the while

i've been tagged by soo aun kor.well,gives me something to do while very anxious+excited+restless-ly waiting to speed-read through the final harry potter book before someone spoils it with their big mouth,like when Sirius died in the 5th book.anyways,let's skip the bitter reminisce and get to the tag.

it was something for my passive mind-in this whole 2 and a half months break-to think up stuff about me that arent,if it turns out that way anyway,don't tell me.

1) Each player must post these rules first.
2) Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
3) People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
4) At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
5) Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.Here are 8 little known facts about me:

i was looking around for inspiration and my eyes fell on my handphone.and i realised-

it takes me ages to reply to a text message that i receive,sometimes not replying at all.i think no further elaboration is necessary lest those whose messages i have not replied since a month ago come seeking compensations.but in my defense,i am very forgetful and er,yes lazy too.

people who cannot utter one sentence without keeping the swear words out thinking it's the real cool way of speaking really,and i mean really annoy me.

i like walls mini hazelnut.a lot.

i actually took tae kwan do classes when i was around 8.i quit a couple of weeks later with a white belt.some achievement eh?i cannot remember clearly,i think i was freaked out by the sheer amount(and not to mention the size)of people in a competition i was brought to.nevertheless i stress that i was 8 and considerably inexperienced with big crowds kicking and punching while yelling.
needless to say i wish i didnt shrink away so easily now.

i have a seeming permanently damaged knee due to an accident where i was knocked down by a motorcycle while crossing the road in primary 6.
it twists randomly,whether i'm walking or running.thus,the dread that i faced in National Service during the mornings where we had to jog 2.4km before breakfast,or cross country as morning exercise.

if there was a sleeping contest,i think it'll be safe to say that i just might come up somewhere in the top 3.

i prefer chicken to ducks.

i'm actually a shy person.but i take the initiative to make friends. sometimes.go figure.

there are not many people i would tag in return.but i'll try my best.


i'm not a tech-y person(there u go,fact number nine) and since michelle's off exploring the united kingdom,i'm quite i cannot link the name to their sites.though theyre mostlyunder the buddies heading on this page(:
i abdicate.

Saturday, July 14, 2007

I know who holds tomorrow

I don't know about tomorrow;
I just live from day to day.
I don't borrow from its sunshine
For its skies may turn to grey.
I don't worry o'er the future,
For I know what Jesus said.
And today I'll walk beside Him,
For He knows what is ahead.

Many things about tomorrow
I don't seem to understand
But I know who holds tomorrow
And I know who holds my hand.

Every step is getting brighter
As the golden stairs I climb;
Every burden's getting lighter,
Every cloud is silver-lined.
There the sun is always shining,
There no tear will dim the eye;
At the ending of the rainbow
Where the mountains touch the sky.

I don't know about tomorrow;
It may bring me poverty.
But the one who feeds the sparrow,
Is the one who stands by me.
And the path that is my portion
May be through the flame or flood;
But His presence goes before me
And I'm covered with His blood.

Friday, July 13, 2007

I am Yours, evermore.

exams are's funny how they seemed to have dragged on endlessly, considering the fact that it was a mere 4 days,compared to the 2 and a half weeks of slaving through spm.

nevertheless i'm willing to bet maybe a whole bunch of sushi but definitely not my exam results cause i doubt those will be worth a lot that the 2 and a half months of break i'm savouring now will fly right past faster than you can say salmon(okay,yeah so i'm craving for sushi right now.sue me.)

new movies cannot be more welcome to a movie freak like me than times like these.
bring em on.

Sunday, July 01, 2007

pull my strings just for a thrill

technically i am on holiday.untechnically(i do not know that opposite of technically,if such word exists,but maybe i hit the mark..who knows)i am supposed to be studying for my finals,the mark of the end of my 1st's not so much a study break,it's a they-finished-the-syllabus-so-what's-the-use-of-having-classes-anymore break.
okay,it's a study break.

knowing myself i'd probably take my books out of their dusty misery only a day or two before D-Day(s).

envy is something that can take over one's whole self.the very logic,moral and self-control can just melt in the presence of envy.thus the tenth commandment "thou shall not covet." being good at something brings only temporary pleasure until someone better at it materialises.then anything below being the best is not a choice.

so,the only solution i see(disclaimer-i see,not the only solution there is)is through the work of the Holy Spirit,we have to realise that whatever possesions,talents or advantages that we are blessed with is only given to us with the sole purpose that we use it for God,whether to glorify Him or to witness for Him.therefore,our only aim should be of that.that is when God will decide whether He wants to give us more,or take what we have away.

so while we still have these,use them fully for Him knowing that He knows what is best to give to us.envy can only hinder us in our service,serving for the wrong reasons.

oh,by the way,transformers so's a great movie.i think i'll watch it again.


Wednesday, June 27, 2007

essential yet appealed.

i am this close to taking a peanut butter sandwich and stuffing it in my mouth.actually i already did.i tend to be hungry when i have lots of work to complete,because it helps me escape from the workplace(namely in front of the computer)into the kitchen.woohoo.but back in front of the comp again in no time.

i realised i haven't blogged in some time,basically because i've been really busy with homework and writing doesnt appeal as much anymore particularly after numerous english classes and assignments strictly requiring academic writing.simply put-i suck at academic writing.big time.huge time.colossal time.yes i am fully aware that this is informal language.

anyways,God has been good through a hectic time.He's the only One holding me together when things seem unbearable.really, how do people make it without God,i'll never understand.

my writing is boring.(at least i havent lost everything,i can still make it rhyme=P)

Sunday, June 17, 2007

let's waste time chasing cars

my self-confidence is waning and falling apart bit by bit.that can't be good can it?but then again it gets me thinking.maybe it's falling apart because it wasn't based on the right things.

i think God is tearing this self-confidence apart to lay the right foundation for a Christ-confidence.a confidence not in myself,what i can do or who i am,but in Christ and who He is,what He's done and what He has promised.

and that kind of confidence can only grow stronger and mature day by's worth the wait-
can't wait.

Friday, June 15, 2007

it's bittersweet to hear you laugh

i think i've got writer's block.i can't complete my reader response which is due on monday let alone write a blogpost.

makes me wonder.

Friday, June 08, 2007

i am full of earth,You are heaven's worth

yes!i watched shrek.
no!it was a lil too short.

went for a movie with ivan today.well the initial plan included many people that i booked 10 tickets.we collected 2.things happen you know?
after the movie we decided to watch another.despite our cramped legs.

we lined for ocean's 13 tickets. then we played time crisis and daytona-ed.
woohoo..haha..where i lost spectacularly to ivan.then he asked if i knew how to 'drift'.i'm like huh?and he's like owh,no wonder u lost so badly. like hello?drift?i just play with the steering wheel.isnt that the whole point?

ocean's 13 is good in a con man sense(duh) but there were times where we'd ask each other huh?and the limited spacing for our legs didnt help.haha.before going home we stopped by the jusco arcade and played the cycling race thing where ivan made a shocking discovery that he needs'd think that a guy who can pump 58 in 60 secs wouldnt feel the pain.wrong.after air hockey we headed home.

you know in shrek today there was a scene where it was said that it doenst matter what people think about you,but what you think about yourself.
there's a point there,but at the end of the day,what matters the most is that we're accoutable to God about how we act.

more often than not we're so engrossed in caring about what people think of us,and trying to make them like us,that in the process we lose our true self.we become someone the world wants us to be, someone we're not.we become what God doesnt want us to be.and that defeats the wole purpose.

in a way i actually understand when people say they're not sure who they are anymore.well, it's time to make sure and stick with it.
who am i anyway?

Thursday, June 07, 2007

slowing down i look around and i'm so amazed

sometimes it takes a slower pace to actually realise and appreciate what's going on not around us,but in our many of God's works in our lives is overlooked as a price of our short-sightedness that can't see past our troubles and worries.
there's rarely one day i live without a worry playing in my may be the most petty,worthless worry,but it's a contrast,it may be a worry that can be so major it turns into a dread.

or it may just be a difficulty we're facing.

the way i see it,or rather,the way i'm learning to see it is that without these,it's just impossible for us to feel God's faithful presence with us and see Him work His wonder in our lives.and ironic as it is,i found my love for Him growing painfully,realising even more just how much He is my everything.

my worries and troubles dont just fade away the moment i realise that mind you.but it definitely makes them easier to face knowing it all works together into a plan for me and that He's just always there with me.

i don't need a too complicated life.i hope to live a life that can be summed up in one simple sentence-

she lived everyday striving to be like Christ.

Friday, June 01, 2007

all heavens declare

why is it made hard?
cause when it's easy we think we can do it by ourselves.
why is it painful?
cause when it doesnt hurt we don't need anyone to comfort us.
why is it so slow?
cause when it's fast we don't learn.
why is it different for us?
cause if it wasnt we wouldn't be Christians.

so, how long do we hold on?

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

is it everything that you believe and more

i'm so sleepy and tired i dont know what's going on..going for blades of glory with phoon..hope it'll be better thn when we went against our better judgement and watched super fans(a chinese movie)instead of teenage mutant ninja turtles.we faked painful laughs at lame jokes just so to make our money seem like it was worth it.

you gotta stand up for what is right sometime or another.

Friday, May 25, 2007

my source of strength,my source of hope is Christ alone

i asked queenie for a line from a song for my blogpost this time round.i just wanted someone else to come up with it this time.(in case you haven't noticed i title all my blogposts with a line from a song)and she gave me this.and it's ironic but in a way it pictures what i've been through this week.and the weeks before that.
the dreading everyday feeling just because it's another day.the wishing that you can turn back time and go back to the old days.but if there's one thing i've learnt,i've learnt that we can't change what's gonna happen to us.but we can change how we face em.
i know it's too much of a cliche and all but talking and hearing bout a cliche is very different from experiencing a cliche itself and thus finding out personally why it's a cliche.
okay,i know you're lost somewhere in my web of words.
i guess sometimes i feel like Jesus is not enough.why else would i fail to just trust Him 100%?i fell like while trusting Jesus i've gotta do something else to make things better myself.
very wrong.
why?because my source of strength and my source of hope is Christ alone.

tell me i didn't just crap a bunch of unintelligible sentences that prove i dont deserve to pass my english.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

trading all that i have for all that is better

what is there left that i can say?it's all there in the title.

and they say words arent enough.

Friday, May 18, 2007

andai ku bisa merubah semua hingga tiada orang terluka

i would.

properties of material and light waves electron test feels like i have very long weeks.which i guess i actually do.classes from9to5, exams on friday which was supposed to be no class days,and then LAN subjects on saturdays day break in the form of sunday and then back to the repetitive-ness of another hectic week.throw in the home cum library revisions and you've got yourself a i-wish-this-week-would-end week.

i could actually get used to this.maybe.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

i still care about you

ko-wei's ques to me today when we were preparing for IT presentation-
'hey,sarah are you a Christian?'
'Yeah i'm a Christian'
'i knew have that Christian look'
*secretly excited*
'Yeah,most Christians have that banana look.'


need i go further?
i mean i guess that didn't mean a lot but one would more prefer another to have seen the difference in one's life as a Christian as opposed to merely having an alleged 'banana look'.

do we mirror Christ in His image?
in anyway at all?

find rest my soul in Christ alone,know His power in quietness and trust


Saturday, May 12, 2007

we are the reason

had a farewell dinner for ashy yesterday.she's leaving for johor to do her matrix on was-let me find the right word to describe it-the best medicine ever.(okay so maybe word(s))why?cause laughter is,and we just didnt stop laughing.only4of us made it.sue yen's of course in spore studying while kellie was in spore but i think shopping.haha.geetha had something on.we went to pizza hut.wanted to go for seafood tomyam or something like that but didnt ended up at pizza hut(predictably)haha.i miss these guys.

for a moment it was just like the high school days.the days where we'd go for lunch at pizza when we've just gotten our allowance instead of the usual 'chap fan' when we're broke.=P

how do you weigh a friendship like ours?
i mean,we've been through practically everything.had the worst of fights yet the best of times.somehow always in the same class,bringing an abrupt end to the peaceful atmosphere.hung together through the bad moods,bad days and the days where there just didnt seem like there's anything to say to each other.
the answer is you just don't weigh it.cause it's impossible.
food for thought:do you care enough not to care about what others think?
i've chosen a very incovenient time to fall sick.
the workload is starting to get to me.

Friday, May 11, 2007

this road that we travel,they envy the straight and the narrow

you know how when we're having a rough day,maybe week,maybe even a phase..and all we wanna think about is how we should be pitied and seeking sympathy from people..and you'd find that it's really hard to actually stop wallowing in self-pity,put ourselves aside and then think about what God went through instead.cause in times like these we find it hard to contemplate on anything else but our worries.
in short we become selfish when we face troubles.we couldn't be bothered about people around us when we're having a bad day..that's usually the case isnt it?we become a bad testimony of Christ's love.but when we do manage to put ourselves aside and start remembering what Jesus went through,it makes us feel better.

getting there may be tough,but try a little harder,then we see the light..
and in that light of Christ's suffering and now His power,things dont look so bad after all.we begin to see the hope that was dimmed.

i guess what i'm trying to say is sometimes,we just gotta get over ourselves and see there's much more to it than moping.
too much to ask?

Saturday, April 28, 2007

is being so close

began cycling to ashy's house for basketball again.let's just say my stamina has lessened greatly after National Service.but i'm working on it.we're starting the whole sports lifestyle that we used to do together as a gang of6in high school that will predictably fall away again especially since we're all busy with uni and college and stuff.phoon couldn't make it.she will one day.ashy's birthday's this thurs.we're going spiderman3-ing!!i's hard to get the whole gang together again in one specific time.
i had malaysian studies today in uni.which means i missed's a bummer really.but on the other hand,at least the teacher makes me somehow compensates a little for the fact that we're learning sejarah all over again in a whole new language.and i'm one of the rare weirdos who finds it boring.go's only the first lesson and we've got assignments.i got tun hussein onn.weeeee.
what's funny was wikipedia was running all through my mind when she gave a stern warning that she'll fail any material from that site.
tough luck.
forgive me for the messy spread of pictures.i'm creative,what can i say?haha.

Sunday, April 22, 2007

i've found the secret

in the worship service today we were singing Jesus Lamb of God and even as i sang while strumming,i was so caught by the words 'You are my all in all".though it's pretty common for one to say Jesus is their everything, most of the time the true meaning gets lost in the wave of repetition and so-called commonness of that phrase.many would say it without having experienced first the deeper impact of that sentence.

of course there are others who would exclaim about how their girl/boyfriends or spouses are their everything.

i know enough to say that Jesus is my all in all.because i can lose someone close to my heart and be really really devastated and sad about it but still live on.but i cannot lose Jesus and continue living.

a couple of us were at the mamak yesterday after WinGS and we were talking bout how Joel didnt get a phone till he was 17 cause he didnt feel he needed one.we agreed that it wasnt really necessary at that time but also unanimously said that we cannot do without it now.
that analogy ends there.
but it's kinda like God.sometimes when things are going really well we feel that we don't need God.but the more we truly experience Him in our lives whether through good or bad,the more we realise we need Him and just cannot do without fact,we discover that we need Him even more with every passing second.

so i confidently say,without a trace of hesitation,without a scent of doubt, that Jesus is my all in all.

You Are My All In All
You are my strength when I am weak
You are the treasure that I seek
You are my all in all
Seeking You as a precious jewel
Lord, to give up I'd be a fool
You are my all in all

Jesus, Lamb of God
Worthy is Your name
Jesus, Lamb of God
Worthy is Your name

Taking my sin, my cross, my shame
Rising again I bless Your name
You are my all in all
When I fall down You pick me up
When I am dry You fill my cup
You are my all in all