if it costs me everything

for a moment i actually forgot i had a blog.
no,seriously.

so i dont have a job anymore.taking this last week and a little more to enjoy what's left before i become a student again.or to specify,a studying student.
the privilege of waking in the afternoon is given me again and like a homesick rat (in memory of my undying longing to watch ratatouille which, despite the fact that i've watched even hairspray and knocked up, i have yet to watch) i embrace the opportunity.

after much in-depth soul searching and uncertain confirmations, i realised i actually miss doing math. not so much as missing maths, i just miss the head-scratching and sometimes impatient solving process, and then the unexplainable satisfaction which comes with getting the right answer.

on a more humanly acceptable note(i can think up plenty of names of the math people whom i would apologise to but it's alright. they need to learn the truth anyway) i've been learning jay chou's new song from his movie secret using romanized lyrics(duh,what else were you thinking?) and a guitar with a broken string.
the thing is,you cant really play the guitar with a broken 3rd string.it's okay if it's the 1st or 6th but without the 3rd,it's really weird music you're making.and it doesnt help that i'm not sure about the way i'm singing the chinese words so let's not add vegetables on chocolates*.

(*only applicable to people who share my taste in bad food)

i like a lotta chinese songs but learning them is a slightly longer process than learning english or malay songs.i do enjoy the learning,but i dont much fancy finding out the song name. i'm not about to sing it in front of people(actually i do sometimes but they dont recognise it anyway..guess malaysian idol isnt really my calling) and on chinese stations it's not always easy to understand what the djs are saying.
stop your gawking.i listened to these stations when i went to work with my aunts.

helplessness is the first step of faith.the realisation of our overpowering need and His total sufficiency is where faith begins.

so how can we have faith in God when we're so full of ourselves?