You make it easier when life gets hard

This is what a 4 months break does to you. It makes you even lazier than you were before.(if you really knew me, you would agree that this is humanly impossible, but unfortunately, at my cost, i have found out that it is possible) I am just not ready to be thrown into the whole busy routine of a student life again. The tutorials, assignments, lab reports and even the effort of trying to decipher what they're teaching us in lectures seems unappealing at this moment.

I know i've had 1 week of class before this raya break, and to be honest i kept telling myself it all begins after this week so the first week kinda didn't count. It's well into sunday now, and i'm dreading the fact that i have to wake up at 7 am.

Yes, i know i have it easy, you should see how they work their students up in UTAR(i would know, my sister goes there). Still, this is my blog, and i can vent all the spoilt content of me that i want and you can't say anything about it. Well, not to my face anyway.

A lot of things have been going on in my life(haven't we all). Friends say i'm always busy, i say that's called having a life! Kidding of course, i'm trying very hard to make time for friends i haven't met in a long time. I'm confused a lot(i'm 19 so i figure it's pretty normal? or should i say i'm a Christian, i figure it's pretty normal?) but i think through my confusions God is teaching me a whole lot, patience most of all. That some things are solved by mere patience. The urge to rush things towards their proposed solution normally hits a wall. No need for all that detailed troubleshooting. But of course. He makes all things beautiful in His time.

...God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
Psalms 73:26

and my eyes they look unto You always

Is there a standard I must live up to? Is there a certain way I must bring myself just because I have the years? Shouldn't it come naturally then? Why am I trying so hard? Why is it even bothering me so much? If I've got it all wrong, will I know? Am I causing them to stumble when I become confused? James said ask for wisdom and it will be given me. Goodness knows i can't differentiate between wisdom and instinct right now.

Argh.