it's like i'm going through the motions of a scripted destiny

it's been awhile since i've posted anything. i know for a fact joel's being very determined to keep to his resolution of updating his blog and has so far been doing quite a good job.

to update a little, my finals ended about a week ago and we outdid ourselves in celebration all day as though we just achieved something after sweating blood and sleepless nights.

and so i am on a 3 and a half weeks break. a week and a half is almost gone and honestly, sleeping late is no more a treat, as much as it is a forced gesture to kill time.

i have been going out but i am trying to stay home more, whether because i have a desire to wake after 10 but before noon (because going out usually means waking around 9) or because i am trying to be wise financially, i cannot decide.

i've been thinking a lot about people and their pride, and how it affects people's decisions, emotions and when it al comes together, their lives.

it's easy to know everyone has pride, but it takes notice, and observation to see how pride influences even the smallest decisons, infiltrates the lightest of conversations.

those small moments of irritations that we brush off, but nevertheless feel when talking to someone are often caused by what the other person said in a gush of pride.
that person will probably have noticed the mistake and hastes to say something humble instead in the next sentence, and yet, the damage is done.

but we cannot really blame, because no matter how humble one may boast to be(hmm), pride lives in every one.

only Jesus was purely humble, and sometimes it can be unnerving to see how He was never proud.

We try, but like any other human being, pride creeps into us even when we are fighting against it. Change is possible, but only with the help of the Holy Spirit, who, whatever people may say, remains the only One who is able to change one effectively for the better.

sometimes, i wish we made wiser decisions.

nothing's real until you let go completely

i was reading about fear, and it's paralyzing powers.

our fears are very personal. but, everyone fears. there may be different factors, but everybody has experienced fear.

there are several aspects of fear.

firstly, the fear of the unknown. Proverbs 3:25 says, "Have no fear of sudden disasters.."
This verse applies to everything that happens that we do not know, and all the "what ifs" that we face throughout life.
diseases that can strike anytime, freak accidents that might be waiting around the corner that can cause us everything precious... endless possibilities.

everyday the media highlights bad things that happen to people, that we can easily shift our focus to the possibilities of the unknown to us and our loved ones.

Proverds 3:26 continues with "for the Lord will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being snared."

we don't know what tomorrow holds, but we should take comfort in knowing the One who holds tomorrow.

also, there is the fear of the known. i, for one, have experienced fear of a person or a group of people, thought i will not go into it.

Proverbs 29:25 speaks of this fear. "Fear of a man will prove to be a snare..."

but the verse soesn't end there."... but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe..."

this is not a promise that no one will seek to hurt us, but rather, if we trust in the Lord, we can rest assured that no permanent harm will come to us.
We are safe in His care.

However, not all form of fear is bad. the Bible has many references to " the fear of the Lord."
this fear brings about a whole different meaning. it is about reverence for the Lord, and to honour and respect Him.
Proverbs14:27 says "The fear of the Lord is a fountain of life, turning a man from the snares of death."

Solomon also wisely said that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.
our fear of the Lord increases as we grow in knowledge of who He is.

the more we grasp His majesty, awesomeness, it becomes clearer to us just how different we are from Him. we become more humble.

this respect will also cause us to desire nothing that displeases Him. Therefore, when we have an authentic fear of the Lord, we are purified spiritually.

so, fear is totally normal. but, we can choose who, or what, to fear.

When i am afraid, I will trust in You. in God, whose word i praise, in God i trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me?
Psalm56:3-4