don't dream too far, don't lose sight of who you are

okay, so here's the sad story.

me and my friends thought we'd take part in the sports week my uni was gonna have. you have to join in groups of 8, but only if there's space, so you gotta be quick. well we weren't. we took our time in registering and was told the spot to represent foundation in badminton was taken.

we weren't that disappointed to be honest. we just wanted to have some fun, though the guys are good. it's just us 3girls who need some, okay a lot of polishing up.

then like about 4days ago, i found out that us 3 girls were registered in the competition, cause there weren't any who signed up yet like the guys.

so then, the not so serious badminton sessions we had became like badminton training camp. The guys were like drill seargeants. okay, i'll be fair. they weren't that bad.

you see, to join with the others is one thing cause they'll probably sweep the competition, so it's okay if girls doubles and singles lose. but only us? there's just a huge possibility that we might be humiliated out of the court 21-nil. so clearly, the objective is not to win, but to get a couple of points and not lose the game in like, 5 minutes of something.

so here i am, over-exercised, tired and feeling the strain in all parts of my body. we went to uni a couple of times early in the morning during this long weekend to fit in some practice. we're getting better, but also more nervous. only God knows what state representatives we're going to be up against, us roadside badminton players.

the competition's on monday, so fingers and racquets crossed.

i know we've come so far, we've got so far to go

my friend lost her dad. 3 heart attacks in one night. what do i do?
the desire to do something that really helps overwhelms. but somehow, nothing seems good enough. she's one of my best budds, but all i can do is offer my condolences and the usual comforting words that grieving people would expect but would not be of much help anyway?

what kind of friend am i?

then once again, i am reminded what is the best thing a friend could do. that in my clouded thinking i forget there is no better thing to do. this song played in my phone. i never really sang with the song. it was just another song. now it isn't.

Love Them Like Jesus- Casting Crowns

The love of her life is drifting away
They're losing the fight for another day
The life that she's known is falling apart
A fatherless home, a child's broken heart

You're holding her hand,
you're straining for words
You trying to make - sense of it all
She's desperate for hope, darkness clouding her view
She's looking to you

Just love her like Jesus, carry her to Him
His yoke is easy, His burden is light
You don't need the answers to all of life's questions
Just know that He loves her and stay by her side
Love her like Jesus
Love her like Jesus

The gifts lie in wait, in a room painted blue
Little blessing from Heaven would be there soon
Hope fades in the night, blue skies turn to gray
As the little one slips away

You're holding her hand, you're straining for words
You're trying to make sense of it all
They're desperate for hope, darkness clouding their view
They're looking to you

Just love them like Jesus, carry them to Him
His yoke is easy, His burden is light
You don't need the answers to all of life's questions
Just know that He loves them and stay by their side
Love them like Jesus

Lord of all creation holds our lives in His hands
The God of all the nations holds our lives in His hands
The Rock of our salvation holds our lives in His hands
He cares for them just as He cares for you

So love them like Jesus, love them like Jesus
You don't need the answers to all of life's questions
Just know that He loves them and stay by their side
Love them like Jesus
Love them like Jesus

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could i have made a difference?

Life is a road and I want to keep going

i believe i learn from my mistakes. though it has to be committed a few times before i know exactly how and why it is a mistake, in the end, i learn. i am tempted to commit such mistakes again, but it is through the struggle of restraining that i grow. to give in without a fight would mean the desire to be stuck where i am, with no intention of progressing.

i have been afraid of messing up, of making mistakes, because i have this fear that it might create a chasm in my relationship with God. i'm afraid that with mistake after mistake i draw further from Him, and my passion for Him not as strong. but as i slowly tread the path He's prepared for me, i experience the meaning of being God's plan.

so yes, i believe i grow with my mistakes, and i have my life as proof that what people preach about learning from your mistakes is true.