it's time to break these chains, to look you in the eye

found this on youtube. chipmunks doing tim mcgraw's 'live like you were dying'. love it even more now haha.

My new goal to help fill my seemingly endless holidays is to pick up where i left canon in d. which would be a bit of the intro and a few seconds o the oh-so-famous riff. it's originally a piano piece which a mr. funtwo played on his electric and got me and everyone mesmerised. you can watch it on youtube. just search canon in d funtwo.

i haven't touched my electric for quite some time already, always preferring the acoustic simply because that doesn't involve messy wires and pedals. i would just leave them in their tangled state which would make life much easier for especially in learning canon in d but my mum wouldn't be very down with that, 'nuff said.

so anyway, what brought this revelation on? well sueyen recently had her life enlightened by that great video and she asked me if i could play. that made me itch to learn it(again).

you see, canon is the kind of song that you eagerly start learning, pronounce impossible(funtwo sets a pretty high standard), listen, fall in love all over again, regain fervour and reprint tabs(having lost the old ones). this cycle is very much a part of my life since i was first exposed to the life-changing video years ago, and i got a feeling it will continue to be so. still, 2 months might change everything.

the thing is, walking with Christ is very much like that. there is a time we make resolutions to be faihful in our daily walk. after awhile, our passion fades and we lose that spiritual fervour. then something happens that sparks off what we left hanging and we become that eager Christian again. oh how i can testify to having run that cycle over and over again. it is a very hard relationship to maintain. because it is a relationship that requires us to do a lot of things we don't want to do. but it produces the sweetest results. isn't that how it is? the more effort you put into a relationship, the better it becomes.

that's what love is all about. sacrifice. one party already did. now it's our turn. don't let monotony turn us off. like canon, it is not impossible though at times it may feel that way.
so, i'm going to print the tabs now.

never say never, right?

like a beat that you can't follow

so much you do not know. so little you actually understand. the wound runs deep. you think you know what's behind the facade. far from that. why would you even try to comprehend? this journey of healing is for one. with The One.

*

i am becoming a nocturnal being. i find it almost impossible to sleep before 3-4 am. i don't think it's insomnia. i do a lot of sleeping, just at the wrong time. it's not very fun when almost everyone you would feel comfortable chatting with are dreaming away at this hour, except dom. you can find him online waiting for his food to digest before going jogging at a park near his house. at 2 am.

actually i wouldn't mind joining him for these jogs. but he's all the way in kepong. imagine waking my parents at 2 am and telling them i'm going to a park in kepong for a jog and i'll be back at dawn. hahaha.

2 more months. this summer break has passed by the quickest. i miss my friends, i miss studying (noi'mnotafreak) but i've still got a lot of fun quota to fill.

walk with me, why don't you?

if you give a little more than you're asking for

He's so mysterious. He works in ways we cannot see, though we sure wish we could. He gives and takes away. makes us wonder if He was planning to take away, why did He have to give in the first place? so we can experience the joy of having, but then the pain of losing? where's the sense in that?

then there are times we see why it has to be done. but we can't help but wonder at the method at which it was done, and we ask why couldn't it be another way? a less painful way which would have achieved the same ultimate motive. or not.

He says it's all in His plan for us. all these pain will pay off someday in someway. it's for our own good. Well, sometimes it's so easy to forsake His will and satisfy ours instead because the consequences are not immediate. they come later down the road. one which we couldn't see clearly, clouded by our desire to fulfill momentary wants. because moments are when we are so sure we are doing the right thing, failing to recognise that the feeling is actually mere human senses being satisfied.

it's so human, to not be able to see and appreciate what good it will do us in the future, how we are being moulded, all the time wishing to live for our now. deep down we know He's shaping us for the better of days to come. but who cares? i want to be happy now. i won't think about how it may affect the future me. i'll cross that bridge when i come to it.

He is God.

"For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts your thoughts."

Isaiah 55:8-9

and thank God for that. i desperately need that childlike faith, to not fully comprehend what's going on in my life, but to trust everything unto Him. knowing that His ways are higher than my ways, and His thoughts higher than my thoughts.

understanding can cause so much pain, because we'll find we can't. but trusting gives this relief because we're letting go all that we do not know into the hands of The One who knows all.

like a runaway train but i can't walk away

was in mid valley yesterdy and saw a faber castell pen selling for rm11,400. coming from a world dominated by 70 cents kilometricos, i was stunned to say the least. now, to splurge so much on a PEN, you would probably have to be a squillionaire or very very very too into pens. not healthy. definitely not very good stewardship.

i think the most i ever paid for a (gel)pen was rm4. and that's only because my body seems to be anti ballpen. no ballpen will work after 3 days with me. it's a real mystery.

so anyway apparently, this particular pen has been awarded the pen of the year award. i figure it must be a pretty big award in the world of pens. it probably beat the rest with its ability to write cheques out of thin air or have ink so brilliant it can blind you. i'm not sure. i'll let you know when i have rm11,400 to spend on a pen.

imagine, i would probably have to fork out a few thousand buckeroos just for a refill.

for beauty in the broken

i have been supressing my creative juices. now i'm ready to let them flow(okayy i know i'm far from creative. i can wish can't i?). haha neh, i got no intelligent mind boggling life changing revolutionary (exaggeration makes everything sound so much nicer than it is) discovery to share. life is good when all you have to study is the list of new movie releases.

i have been very into estranged's single itu kamu. but i can't help disapproving of their album title- in hating memory. i mean like, negative much? but then again, the world's pretty bent on being negative especially now.

international artistes love expressing hate, anger and indeed, suicide encouragement(maybe it's just me, but sean kingston's song beautiful girls which goes 'suicidal' x1000 annoys me) in their music. i guess malaysian artistes are taking that step in hope of more fame. cause really, songs like these are a hit especially with teenagers.
hatred is sown, and more are unnecessarily becoming angry people. you don't shoot your family member just cause you didn't get your way. you just don't.
music is just one(really big) way people are influenced.

living in a world like this, it's no wonder we find God's command to 'rejoice in the Lord always'(philippians 4:4) difficult to adhere to. still, the reason for our joy is not affected by worldly circumstances. as Christians we should always keep this joy alive in our hearts not only to keep us positive, but also cause it helps lead people to this same joy. being around happy people makes us happy.

kajang has this new food court called happy happy cafe haha. that's a start.