if you give a little more than you're asking for

He's so mysterious. He works in ways we cannot see, though we sure wish we could. He gives and takes away. makes us wonder if He was planning to take away, why did He have to give in the first place? so we can experience the joy of having, but then the pain of losing? where's the sense in that?

then there are times we see why it has to be done. but we can't help but wonder at the method at which it was done, and we ask why couldn't it be another way? a less painful way which would have achieved the same ultimate motive. or not.

He says it's all in His plan for us. all these pain will pay off someday in someway. it's for our own good. Well, sometimes it's so easy to forsake His will and satisfy ours instead because the consequences are not immediate. they come later down the road. one which we couldn't see clearly, clouded by our desire to fulfill momentary wants. because moments are when we are so sure we are doing the right thing, failing to recognise that the feeling is actually mere human senses being satisfied.

it's so human, to not be able to see and appreciate what good it will do us in the future, how we are being moulded, all the time wishing to live for our now. deep down we know He's shaping us for the better of days to come. but who cares? i want to be happy now. i won't think about how it may affect the future me. i'll cross that bridge when i come to it.

He is God.

"For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts your thoughts."

Isaiah 55:8-9

and thank God for that. i desperately need that childlike faith, to not fully comprehend what's going on in my life, but to trust everything unto Him. knowing that His ways are higher than my ways, and His thoughts higher than my thoughts.

understanding can cause so much pain, because we'll find we can't. but trusting gives this relief because we're letting go all that we do not know into the hands of The One who knows all.