cause we are all searching for a saviour

i've been indirectly following the progress of Britney Spears' much publicised 'personal' problems, from drugs to an alleged hit-and-run to fighting for the custody of her two sons.

there are a lot more news where that came from, but my reaction was not of one who wanted to pry more into the life of this already troubled celebrity. i don't know about Britney, but i know if all these were happening to me, i would want media coverage to be minimal, if not none at all.

besides wondering what is gonna be of her two sons, i can't help but wonder what's gonna happen to britney herself. to us readers, she is merely another celebrity gone bad. the probability that she may be going through a difficult time, possibly personal struggles, silent tears and painful remorse doesnt move us as it is supposed to.

contrary to extremely popular belief, celebrities do face personal turmoils and they too need God. they're pretty similar to us, probably with the exception that they rake in more bucks and the paparazzis are much more interested in their pictures.

i think sometimes, we have this feeling that celebrities deserve these troubles that they are put through whatever the reason may be. when we read stories like these about them, we say 'there you go. that's what you get for putting yourself out there like a cheap (pardon the language) whore. that's what happens when you let yourself get drowned by the spotlight of fame.'

the thing is, we're not much different. okay, so maybe our mistakes don't cost us that much because we dont get hounded by the press. maybe we're less wild compared to celebrities. still, everyone makes mistakes that they know are mistakes but they go ahead and make it anyway.

would it be so wrong if we actually included these people into our prayers? if we can't be crazy fans who stalk them, let's be caring Christians who pray for them.

it breaks our hearts right when cases like that of Nurin's happen. it wrenches my heart more when i know that only Jesus can grant the 'peace which transcends all understanding' (Philipians 4:7) to the hurting families, and only we Christians can share it to them.

it's the same with everyone whatever their social ranking is, because to God, we're all equal. His love doesnt increase or decrease with social status.

so maybe it's time we see everyone in the same light as Jesus sees them.
the light of love and compassion.

gosh, is it really that hard?

you can have all this world, but give me Jesus

The Sweetest Name Of All
Tom Coomes

Jesus, You're the Sweetest name of all
Jesus, you always hear me when I call
Oh Jesus, You pick me up each time I fall
You're the sweetest, sweetest name of all

Jesus, how I love to praise your name
Jesus, you're the first, the last, the same
Oh Jesus, You died and took away my shame
You're the sweetest, sweetest name of all

Jesus, you're the soon and coming King
Jesus, we need the love that you can bring
Oh Jesus, we lift our voices up and sing
You're the sweetest, sweetest name of all

in the midst of life's extreme business, painful incidents, temporary satisfaction, short-lived happiness, Jesus is still the name that stands above everything. He remains the solid, ever present figure that we can run back to, cling on to. when doubt and fear floods us, He's the One with the comfort and assurance.

i cannot imagine my life without the name Jesus, because He has become my life.

if it costs me everything

for a moment i actually forgot i had a blog.
no,seriously.

so i dont have a job anymore.taking this last week and a little more to enjoy what's left before i become a student again.or to specify,a studying student.
the privilege of waking in the afternoon is given me again and like a homesick rat (in memory of my undying longing to watch ratatouille which, despite the fact that i've watched even hairspray and knocked up, i have yet to watch) i embrace the opportunity.

after much in-depth soul searching and uncertain confirmations, i realised i actually miss doing math. not so much as missing maths, i just miss the head-scratching and sometimes impatient solving process, and then the unexplainable satisfaction which comes with getting the right answer.

on a more humanly acceptable note(i can think up plenty of names of the math people whom i would apologise to but it's alright. they need to learn the truth anyway) i've been learning jay chou's new song from his movie secret using romanized lyrics(duh,what else were you thinking?) and a guitar with a broken string.
the thing is,you cant really play the guitar with a broken 3rd string.it's okay if it's the 1st or 6th but without the 3rd,it's really weird music you're making.and it doesnt help that i'm not sure about the way i'm singing the chinese words so let's not add vegetables on chocolates*.

(*only applicable to people who share my taste in bad food)

i like a lotta chinese songs but learning them is a slightly longer process than learning english or malay songs.i do enjoy the learning,but i dont much fancy finding out the song name. i'm not about to sing it in front of people(actually i do sometimes but they dont recognise it anyway..guess malaysian idol isnt really my calling) and on chinese stations it's not always easy to understand what the djs are saying.
stop your gawking.i listened to these stations when i went to work with my aunts.

helplessness is the first step of faith.the realisation of our overpowering need and His total sufficiency is where faith begins.

so how can we have faith in God when we're so full of ourselves?

i lay my life before you and i'm not getting up

I Offer My Life

All that I am, all that I have
I lay them down before you, oh Lord
All my regrets, all my acclaims
The joy and the pain, I'm making them yours

(Chorus)
Lord, I offer my life to you
Everything I've been through
Use it for your glory
Lord I offer my days to you
Lifting my praise to you
As a pleasing sacrifice
Lord I offer you my life

Things in the past, things yet unseen
Wishes and dreams that are yet to come true
All of my hopes,All of my plans
My heart and my hands are lifted to you

What can we give
That you have not given?
And what do we have
That is not already yours?
All we possess
Are these lives we're living
That's what we give to you, Lord

Is this just a favourite regular praise and worship song that we sing?one that while singing we appreciate the tune,meaning it when we sing but honestly,not meaning it at all?

or is it a hard reminder,a song that is actually a rededication of our lives as a living sacrifice?to mean it when we sing and to get down and do it even when the song is not playing?

sacrificing our lives is not as easy as we think.
cause it means we cant own it.

Letting go of me,holding on to You

back again.so anyway(note:anyway,not anyways.i'm trying to be proper.)
anyways(oh well,it was worth the effort as far as it went) it's been another week and weird enough i only worked for one day.monday.then i didnt feel well again and went to see another doctor.then on the next day i went to pantai cheras(uh,it's a hospital,not a beach.look i'm sensitive towards the ignorant okay?)to see the ENT specialist and to cut the story short,i've seen a lotta doctors and spent more than i make in a week.not that i do the spending.um,u get me.haha.

at the moment i'm very much into big Daddy Weave's Completely free,not just because the guitar plucking's good.and the one sentence that keeps singing itself into my head is 'He looked past the moment to where we are now'.

Jesus looked past the moment of intense pain and torture,of being forsaken to see us sinful people living a lost life with no hope.and with that thought,He endured the cross for us.

so,is it any different with us?can we possibly look past our anxieties,anguish,worries and hurt to where we are going to be spending eternity with the God who suffered worse for us?it only seems right that we give a little back so that when the day comes,we'll be able to hear the desired words,'Well done,good and faithful servant'.

i have faith that we can,if we pray and ask God to give us wisdom to truly appreciate His sufferings,because oftentimes,it's underated.super duper underated.

so my question is,if the god who went through worse before us looked past His moment for us,and is now reigning and living in us,what is stopping us from looking past our moments for Him?

Big Daddy Weave-Completely Free

Broken and poured out for the love of His creation
God paid a debt that He didn't owe
Bearing my pain for not one was His equal
And wearing my shame so that I could know him

He gave us all He had to give
So that we could truly live
So let's give all we have to Him
So that we can be completely free

And as they placed the thorns on His brow
As they drove the nails into His hands and His feet
He looked past the moment
To where we are now
And gave us the victory
From what seemed His defeat

He said here's my body
It’s broken in two
Here is my blood let it cover you
All that I have is now yours to receive
Payment in full so that you could be free

Oh without a doubt completely
So that we can be completely free

whatever you do,i'll be two steps behind you

it has been an eventful week,in the sense that on tuesday and thursday i took half-day leaves cause i wasnt feeling well.on thursday when i finally decided to see a doctor,i was told i had a slight low blood pressure thus explaining the reason that i've been feeling giddy and nauseous.

instead of feeling alarmed,i found it almost comical.i mean in reference to my non-existent medical knowledge,low blood pressure are for older and thinner people.and judging by my age and my size,i would think i'll be the last person to have low blood pressure.

nevertheless,once again i know why i'm not doing medicine(apart from the fact that i die at the sight of blood).because at the age of 17(going on 18 okay?)i'm taking pills for my blood pressure.
plus a few others the doctor prescribed.

anyways,i got my results.
in my fervent prayers that the Lord not to let me fail a particularly challenging paper,i had no hope that i'll be able to meet the required standards to maintain my scholarship.

still,God proved His power and faithfulness when He not only helped me pass that paper,my average percentage is sufficient to keep the scholarship.
so i'm left ashamed at my teeny weeny faith in God.

who's to measure God's endless power?