tomorrow's so far away

i would never have believed it if you told me i would be doing subtitles as a job. well, i am.
no, i don't get to write my name at the end.

i translate english to malay for anime videos. yeah, can you believe it? i dislike(hate's too strong a word) anime with a passion, and here i am translating these videos and though i only get to read the script and not see the videos, i have to say SOME of the storylines are pretty captivating. i guess some things are best described with words and not pictures.

malaysia being the motherload of all pirated discs, subtitles just don't make sense most of the time. as much as i would like to humour someone, i hope with all my heart my subtitles don't make someone laugh, because we all have our laugh-my-head-off moments with subtitles.

this is my most defining subtitle moment.

english: my lips are sealed.
malay: bibir saya anjing laut.

i rest my case.

i was sitting, waiting, wishing

once upon an afternoon, while i was bumming around the house, i got a job. haha yupe, no searching efforts required. just one phonecall from hiewmun asking if i wanted this translating job. i do have to go for an interview, but i think it's just a formality thing. i hope! yeah hiewmun has my back, even when i don't have my own back.

i watched 21, the new movie. i had the time of my life really. cause i absolutely loved it. it's about this group of students using basic math to win at blackjack. the incorporated mathematics in the movie intrigued me and totally caught my attention. it got me trying(and of course failing, but nevertheless) to understand when they explained simple concepts of the math involved.
kaiseng was explaining what he understood to me in the elevator but it kinda makes us appear like freaks so haha.

i've been thinking about this one thing- going out of our way for someone. what triggered this in my mind?

well, i was recently blessed with this video sermon that served as a hard reminder. God saw us when we had no way out from our sins. we could have done nothing about it, headed for death. hell. but God made a way. He sent Jesus, holy, to die and pay for our sins.
You see, the point is God would not have been an unjust God had He not decided to send Jesus. but because He could, He went out of His way to save us. He didn't have to, make no mistake.

i don't go out of my way to help people much, if not at all. being the selfish person that i am, i couldn't be bothered. i want to. it's inconvenient(that's the whole point of going out of the way) but i don't just want to try. i really want to fall in step with God even though my sacrifice could never be as great or be worth as much. i want to go out of my way for the little things that no one but God would notice, for the big things that would give glory to God.

i am so selfish and proud. yes, i've been thinking a lot about this too cause it strikes me hard and i don't like it. but i guess this post should end. maybe another day.

big and small, God take all the glory.

this much remains

life is tiring. really. and coming from someone who sleeps three quarters of the day away everyday, that's saying something.

Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest
Matthew 11:28

Passion was great! sure, there was a little damper at the end that Chris Tomlin didnt plan to give his guitar away(to me) but that aside, it was a glimpse of how it would be like in heaven. how multitudes would be worshipping our God. just a teeny-weeny glimpse. awesome.

well, we know how all good things have to come to an end(except eternity in heaven!) but Passion was like a recharge. a reminder of what we're living for, and a reminder of what awaits us at the end.

a reminder of what our lives(that so often we take for granted) had cost.

God is awesome, and the fact that He loves me is amazing enough. i could sing forever.

can't let me feel what i can't have

to praise even when it's hard, God grant me the grace.
to sing even when the tears flow, God grant me the grace.
to worship even when doubts and fears paralyse in the midst of song, God grant me the grace.

Jesus i need You.

i'll be a witness in the silences when words are not enough

It’s Friday already(again!). So many Fridays, still so many more to go.
I watched Batman twice, which is not really enough for such a good movie. Though not everything is exactly the same as the novel (yes, there is a batman novel) or the comics, the crux of the story is there.

WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD
In one scene, The Joker says this:

You see, nobody panics when things go according to plan. Even if the plan is horrifying. If I told people that a gangbanger was going to get shot, or a busload of soldiers was going to get blown up, nobody would panic. Because it's all part of the plan. But tell people that one tiny little mayor is going to die and everyone loses their minds!

The Joker is insane (is he really though?) but he makes a good point. Isn’t this how we are? Yes, we pride ourselves in our ability to enjoy surprises, to be excited about that occasional unknown we plunge ourselves into. Still, we usually want a plan. Not a detailed one maybe, but a rough sketch to give us an idea of what’s going to happen. Sure, at times a plan is definitely necessary. It wouldn’t be wise to run an event without planning it beforehand. ‘He who fails to plan plans to fail’ right? But some things are beyond planning. We can plan our daily routine, what we have for dinner, what course we want to take, but there is always the situation when something unexpected, out of the plan, happens. Then our faith is tested. We struggle to keep faith in light of what’s happened, but secretly we long for the reason. Desiring to interrogate God, to ask Him why is it happening? What is Your plan for me?

And then towards the end of the movie, Harvey Dent says this:

You thought we could be decent men at indecent times. But you were wrong; the world is cruel, and the only morality in a cruel world is chance.

This feeling is no stranger to me, as I’m sure it isn’t to many of us. More often than our conscience would allow us to, we wonder why are we trying to be different. What’s the point? It’s not as if my actions are going to change the world. The only thing it’s doing for me is make everyone look at me as a freak, mocking me for my stupidity of trying to be decent in indecent times. The things that are happening in the world today, sometimes only the most profane words make sense. But the thing is, it’s not our job to make things happen. What we do is be different, upholding morality, decency. How that affects people is God’s work.

There was this one scene where there’re two ferries, one carrying innocent citizens, the other convicted felons. The Joker threatens to blow both ferries up, unless one of them blows the other up first before midnight.
The people start reasoning among themselves. Some say the criminals have had their chance. Better them than innocent citizens. Besides, it’s better to have one ferry blown up than both right?

This scene deals with such a real issue. We all want to do what’s right, but sometimes, we don’t know what’s right. At times like these, thank God we have the Holy Spirit in us to lead us.

It's my parents' wedding anniversary today.

22 years down the road...

and 3 biji kids later(yes, three. the third is squashed at the bottom)...

God is so good.