It is not easy to live what you believe. It's harder standing up for it. It's so difficult to be different, sometimes even among those of the same faith.
I am so tired.
Friday, November 28, 2008
Friday, November 21, 2008
because this moment's really all we have
So here's the deal. I was chatting with weiwen online and he was just telling me how he's preparing for his presentation, and we were just talking bout the hectic-ness of uni life. Then somehow we(I) got to the topic of me being fat and weiwen being weiwen starts rebutting all my points. Here's the gist of part of our conversation:
me: i am fat and that's a fact face it.
weiwen: no, you're not fat. anyway being thin is not that good also.
me: then? average right
weiwen: you are optimum
me: ??
weiwen: din't you learn bio? optimum=just nice.
me: i told you i almost always failed bio.
weiwen: if you want to know whether you are fat, go and look in the mirror and check if you're fat or not.
me: go to sleep tonight assured in the knowledge that i am fat.
weiwen: in the end, u are taking the whole journey back to the initial point.
If you noticed, weiwen tends to use a lot of, er, technical terms in his conversation i.e. optimum, initial point. No, i did not start because i wanted to feel good and have someone say i'm not fat. Weiwen is like a person you talk to at a pillow party.(one reason why i miss having him in my classes) I just tell him and enjoy the conversation that ensues because he's a guy and he makes me laugh. No, i do not have a crush on him haha.
Anyway, you all have a good weekend.
me: i am fat and that's a fact face it.
weiwen: no, you're not fat. anyway being thin is not that good also.
me: then? average right
weiwen: you are optimum
me: ??
weiwen: din't you learn bio? optimum=just nice.
me: i told you i almost always failed bio.
weiwen: if you want to know whether you are fat, go and look in the mirror and check if you're fat or not.
me: go to sleep tonight assured in the knowledge that i am fat.
weiwen: in the end, u are taking the whole journey back to the initial point.
If you noticed, weiwen tends to use a lot of, er, technical terms in his conversation i.e. optimum, initial point. No, i did not start because i wanted to feel good and have someone say i'm not fat. Weiwen is like a person you talk to at a pillow party.(one reason why i miss having him in my classes) I just tell him and enjoy the conversation that ensues because he's a guy and he makes me laugh. No, i do not have a crush on him haha.
Anyway, you all have a good weekend.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Your grace is enough for me
I didn't have classes today(only today) and so a battle ensued within me. Either i go to uni to get some questions answered by my lecturer(and celebrate kamhing's birthday) or i sleep in. I haven't had a chance to sleep in since forever, and by sleep in i mean 10am not 4pm yes i know, the world is changing. First obama, now me. I keep telling myself you're gonna get to sleep in for 4 months next summer just keep at it now!
See, being a barely average student, who gets good grades by God's grace alone, and by alone i mean alone alone, (which when i come to my senses and think about it, is actually the best thing to be proud about) i struggle a lot to keep up, and it doesn't help that i'm lazy. I think i've stressed enough in my previous post(s) about this attribute that i'm not proud of.
I am experiencing in a whole different way what it means when God said His power is made perfect in my weakness (2Cor 12:9). It doesn't mean when i don't feel weak his power is limited. It's just that when i realise how powerless i am, i begin to realise just how great He is. I fully rely on Him. When i think i have something to boast about, i take a lot of the glory unconsciously(excuses). But when i feel helpless i realise it's all Him, it was never me. My pride takes a hike, and i admit my limitations to embrace His sufficiency.
What's on my mind? Work, report, study, coursework, assignment, projects, tests and what not. I am stressed out, worried and everything a typical student is when all the work pile up. Inferiority rears its ugly head out sometimes and makes things worse. But somehow when i so desperately seek some sort of comfort, Jesus gives this peace which transcends all understanding.
His grace is enough.
See, being a barely average student, who gets good grades by God's grace alone, and by alone i mean alone alone, (which when i come to my senses and think about it, is actually the best thing to be proud about) i struggle a lot to keep up, and it doesn't help that i'm lazy. I think i've stressed enough in my previous post(s) about this attribute that i'm not proud of.
I am experiencing in a whole different way what it means when God said His power is made perfect in my weakness (2Cor 12:9). It doesn't mean when i don't feel weak his power is limited. It's just that when i realise how powerless i am, i begin to realise just how great He is. I fully rely on Him. When i think i have something to boast about, i take a lot of the glory unconsciously(excuses). But when i feel helpless i realise it's all Him, it was never me. My pride takes a hike, and i admit my limitations to embrace His sufficiency.
What's on my mind? Work, report, study, coursework, assignment, projects, tests and what not. I am stressed out, worried and everything a typical student is when all the work pile up. Inferiority rears its ugly head out sometimes and makes things worse. But somehow when i so desperately seek some sort of comfort, Jesus gives this peace which transcends all understanding.
His grace is enough.
Saturday, November 08, 2008
you count it strange, so once did I
I love public transport. I love ktm. I mean how can you not love it right? The crowd, the shoving, the delays(hint: sarcasm)
So i took the ktm with hannah today to go to church for sketch practice. When i got into the train, somehow i got stuck in a spot where i couldnt move anywhere else. And beside me was this man around 50 who was sweating like no one's business which is perfectly fine i mean everyone sweats. The problem i have is that he just had to stand in the arms-raised-armpits-at-my-face position. I know it was a saturday morning and everything but the train wasnt that packed. In fact, by usual ktm standard, it was perfectly comfortable.
He couldve stood in a less smelly position or at least move his armpits somewhere where there wasnt anyone's face in the way inhaling his stink. That guy has major B.O. issues and don't get me started on how he was so annoying he had to move forward when i did to get some fresh(er) air, and move backward when i did to avoid him again, all the while spreading his offensive smell. I could not breathe, i am serious. So it's like i take one breath and try to make it last as long as possible before taking another.
So you can imagine my relief and desperate air-gasping when he went down at the next station. To avoid another such incident, i moved in a little towards a pole. Another mistake. There was this guy and his girlfriend holding the same pole which is great cause that pole is meant to be shared. Well, obviously that guy assumed he bought over the whole pole(which i dont think so because i didnt see no legal documents to prove that) cause he was leaning on the whole thing. So basically, he was leaning on my hand. I mean, honestly! I thought okay, maybe he didnt realise he was doing that so i moved my hand elsewhere. Still he comfortably rested his back on my hand.
At this time i was getting really annoyed. I mean this and Mr. Perfume and i haven't even had my breakfast! So i pushed him a little with my hand that he was resting on. And would you believe the guy had the nerve to just ignore it and continue leaning while trying to impress his girlfriend? Trust me, the temptation to say "Hello? Ini tangan saya kamu sandar tau?" was so overwhelming or perhaps just a slap in his face would suffice. But i just relented in the end and stood in a very awkward position until the next station which was our stop. Thank God for that.
Of course there was this guy whom hannah stood in front of who was happily picking his nose with such into-ness and then played with the result of his picking before throwing it away. And the people who just have to push their way through the packed staircase just to get one step ahead of you. Yeah sure, that makes a lotta difference. Did i mention the time when i was trying to get into a sardine can of a ktm and this girl behind me hooked(yes, hooked!) her fingers into the back pocket of my jeans just so she can get into the train?
One day on a 15 minute ktm ride was all i needed to get the worst impression of Malaysians. Where do they learn their manners, if they do learn any at all? Of course, it could've all been an illusion because i only took half an apple for breakfast. What a hope.
So i took the ktm with hannah today to go to church for sketch practice. When i got into the train, somehow i got stuck in a spot where i couldnt move anywhere else. And beside me was this man around 50 who was sweating like no one's business which is perfectly fine i mean everyone sweats. The problem i have is that he just had to stand in the arms-raised-armpits-at-my-face position. I know it was a saturday morning and everything but the train wasnt that packed. In fact, by usual ktm standard, it was perfectly comfortable.
He couldve stood in a less smelly position or at least move his armpits somewhere where there wasnt anyone's face in the way inhaling his stink. That guy has major B.O. issues and don't get me started on how he was so annoying he had to move forward when i did to get some fresh(er) air, and move backward when i did to avoid him again, all the while spreading his offensive smell. I could not breathe, i am serious. So it's like i take one breath and try to make it last as long as possible before taking another.
So you can imagine my relief and desperate air-gasping when he went down at the next station. To avoid another such incident, i moved in a little towards a pole. Another mistake. There was this guy and his girlfriend holding the same pole which is great cause that pole is meant to be shared. Well, obviously that guy assumed he bought over the whole pole(which i dont think so because i didnt see no legal documents to prove that) cause he was leaning on the whole thing. So basically, he was leaning on my hand. I mean, honestly! I thought okay, maybe he didnt realise he was doing that so i moved my hand elsewhere. Still he comfortably rested his back on my hand.
At this time i was getting really annoyed. I mean this and Mr. Perfume and i haven't even had my breakfast! So i pushed him a little with my hand that he was resting on. And would you believe the guy had the nerve to just ignore it and continue leaning while trying to impress his girlfriend? Trust me, the temptation to say "Hello? Ini tangan saya kamu sandar tau?" was so overwhelming or perhaps just a slap in his face would suffice. But i just relented in the end and stood in a very awkward position until the next station which was our stop. Thank God for that.
Of course there was this guy whom hannah stood in front of who was happily picking his nose with such into-ness and then played with the result of his picking before throwing it away. And the people who just have to push their way through the packed staircase just to get one step ahead of you. Yeah sure, that makes a lotta difference. Did i mention the time when i was trying to get into a sardine can of a ktm and this girl behind me hooked(yes, hooked!) her fingers into the back pocket of my jeans just so she can get into the train?
One day on a 15 minute ktm ride was all i needed to get the worst impression of Malaysians. Where do they learn their manners, if they do learn any at all? Of course, it could've all been an illusion because i only took half an apple for breakfast. What a hope.
Saturday, November 01, 2008
anything worth saying
it's been awhile since i last blogged, that blogger is no longer part of my webpage history. I guess you can say i've been having blogger's block. I still am actually, so why am i blogging now? Aside from the fact that i believe my blog is screaming for an update(or not), i am absolutely struggling to keep awake right now. Why blog? Well, it's between doing pre-lab and blogging so like a model student i chose blogging.
You're probably thinking well if you're sleepy go to sleep! Let me explain my predicament. It's 5.30pm on a saturday afternoon. We(me and my family) just came back from church after a whole day of shifting so naturally we are tired. And I went to sleep at 4am yesterday, getting only 3 hours worth of not-so-beauty sleep. Why did i go to bed so late? Cause i took a 6 hour nap on friday afternoon. Which brings me back to the point of why i am abstaining from taking a nap now, because i believe if i do, i will probably go to sleep in the wee hours of the morning again which is not the wisest thing to do when the next day is sunday.
Hence, the blogpost.
Everyone's supposed to take a nap before we go out to dinner to celebrate my dad's birthday. His birthday is on monday, and my hardcore party mum(haha, not really) plans to have a 3 day celebration and got my dad to take monday off since he's hitting the big five-oh this year. But obviously, after a big day of shifting, we're all not in the mood to go far so now we're thinking of someplace nice and near. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing more rewarding than serving God in any way(while shedding some nanopounds along the way of course).
We're planning to go watch the musical Crazy Little Thing Called Love by Footstool Players at pj with friends from church tomorrow night, and since my lab is on monday, and i would be out all day tomorrow, guess i should really get down to doing that pre-lab now.
oh procrastination is such a sweet escape.
You're probably thinking well if you're sleepy go to sleep! Let me explain my predicament. It's 5.30pm on a saturday afternoon. We(me and my family) just came back from church after a whole day of shifting so naturally we are tired. And I went to sleep at 4am yesterday, getting only 3 hours worth of not-so-beauty sleep. Why did i go to bed so late? Cause i took a 6 hour nap on friday afternoon. Which brings me back to the point of why i am abstaining from taking a nap now, because i believe if i do, i will probably go to sleep in the wee hours of the morning again which is not the wisest thing to do when the next day is sunday.
Hence, the blogpost.
Everyone's supposed to take a nap before we go out to dinner to celebrate my dad's birthday. His birthday is on monday, and my hardcore party mum(haha, not really) plans to have a 3 day celebration and got my dad to take monday off since he's hitting the big five-oh this year. But obviously, after a big day of shifting, we're all not in the mood to go far so now we're thinking of someplace nice and near. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing more rewarding than serving God in any way(while shedding some nanopounds along the way of course).
We're planning to go watch the musical Crazy Little Thing Called Love by Footstool Players at pj with friends from church tomorrow night, and since my lab is on monday, and i would be out all day tomorrow, guess i should really get down to doing that pre-lab now.
oh procrastination is such a sweet escape.
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