So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. 2 Corinthians 4:18
Saturday, November 07, 2009
because You live, my world has everything i need to survive
Saturday, October 10, 2009
in the wires that decide
Saturday, October 03, 2009
lovingly He brought a new life that's free
- Love was when God became a man,
Locked in time and space, without rank or place;
Love was God born of Jewish kin;
Just a carpenter with some fishermen;
Love was when Jesus walked in history,
Lovingly He brought a new life that's free,
Love was God nailed to bleed and die
To reach and love one such as I.
Love was when God became a man,
Down where I could see love that reached to me;
Love was God dying for my sin
And so trapped was I my whole world caved in.
Love was when Jesus met me, now it's real;
Lovingly He came, I can feel He's real!
Love was God, only He would try
To reach and love one such as I.
Monday, August 17, 2009
can i doubt His tender mercy, who through life has been my guide?
So we were raking the grass right cause it was sooo long and if the grass cutting man (is there a better term? haha) were to rake it for us after cutting, it would cost an extra RM30 (!! yes it's a bungalow but it's not a mansion!) So we did it ourselves. It took about 4 hours spread out in 2 days.
Before raking it looks like this
Then after tirelessly raking under the burning hot afternoon sun, obviously satisfaction is aplenty when we achieve this
However, one's happiness is short lived, when she looked over the fence at the neighbour's house to see this
Talk about a demotivator! Haha, but still, a cup of cold 100 plus does make up for it :)
Wednesday, August 05, 2009
Monday, August 03, 2009
there is someone here inside
My sleeping time.
Ya i mean i obviously already knew that, cause for the last 2 months of my summer break, i have put in considerable effort to sleep as late as possible (i.e. 4am-5am). Don't blame me, it's called summer break reflex. [hint: denial]
Remember learning how if we touch a boiling kettle, our receptors in the skin sends a message to our brain to tell it that the kettle's hot and then the brain sends a message back and tells the hands to move away? And all these happens in warp speed because if it doesnt our fingers would have already turned into fried sausages by the time the message gets from the brain to our hands. And that's called reflex, which google defined as,
"An automatic instinctive unlearned reaction to a stimulus, without volition or conscious control"
So you see it's the same with my summer break reflex. 4 months of break from studies is like the boiling kettle. Spot the similarity? Okay la, maybe not the volition or conscious control part.
But i digress.
What stirred this feeling of,
"Wow, i really did mess up and i need to fix it." ?
Well, i had a long day today. After youth i stayed back for some practice and then went for a movie [ghosts of girlfriends' past, which incidentally i do not recommend (now i really have this urge to break into a song *be careful little eyes what you see, be careful little eyes what you see, for the Father up above is looking down in love, so be careful little eyes what you see*)]
Then of course, took the ktm home. And we all know how the ktm has a knack for causing advanced aging.
When i got home after dinner, i was really feeling sleepy (hint: shock!) so i went to bed at about 10pm. I was very happy cause i mean c'mon, i usually only feel sleepy in the range of 3.30am. So i slept. And guess what?
I woke at bout 11.45pm and just couldnt go back to sleep anymore. I felt wide awake! I was like what? No! I mean isn't there like this rule when you feel sleepy AT NIGHT you automatically sleep soundly all night?! After tossing and turning and trying to go back to sleep in total total vain-ness (okay that was very grammatically wrong i think, but i really wanna get a message across haha. i meant to say 'in vain' in case you did not understand), i gave up and here i am.
Although my body and i are not really on speaking terms right now (cause it refuses to help me out when i ask it to just go to sleep), i got a feeling we're just waiting for 4am to come.
Oh, it's only 2.18am.
I think i'll go read a book.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
can't help but think that this is wrong
Guess what? I finally discovered a justified version of that song.
Be back soon with more than just a video (my first too!) update. In the meantime, i'm off to work on those acoustic guitar playing skills in hope that i can be half the musician jason mraz is.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
it's my only hope of heaven, at the cross forgiven
Venue : Main Sanctuary, KL Baptist Church
Time : ADORE09 Bash (4:00pm – 7:30pm)
Concert (7:30pm – 10:00pm)
you HOPE that you will hear your favourite ringtone (in my case, mighty morphin power rangers :P) and get notice that class is cancelled for the day!
*plays Daniel Powter's "Bad Day" in the background*
HOPE is when you fear, you know that He never leaves, He never forsakes us.
HOPE is when the future lies unknown, you know that He has plans to prosper us, not to harm us.
HOPE is when we don't understand why we're going through what we're going through, but rest secure in the knowledge that all things work for the good of those who love Him.
Hope is a promise in the face of uncertainties, trials, weaknessess, fear, loneliness... even death. It gives courage to overcome. Because of God.
Are you confused or lost? Do you find yourself hoping against all hopes but always being let down? We may be a generation of many false, make believe hopes. It's time to get our facts right.
JESUS is the real HOPE.
Generation of HOPE.
Friday, July 17, 2009
a thousand times i've failed, still Your mercy remains
I am such a sinner, making the same mistakes that affect others, displeasing Him over and over and over again. God's mercy spares me from the worse that could happen, and His grace lavishes me with blessings that not only do i not deserve, sometimes, i am afraid to receive.
Titus 2:11 speaks of the grace of God that we are soaked in. David Crowder in their new single, puts it accurately when they said 'if grace were an ocean we're all sinking'.
I have been feeling extremely unworthy lately. Unworthy of God's grace. Don't get me wrong. Yes, this is exactly the feeling that should live with us. 'Cause in fact, we are unworthy of anything from God. The very faith that we have is a gift (Eph 2:8). But of course this realisation of unworthiness, instead of drowning us in helplessness forever, should be channelled accordingly towards the way we live our lives, because we are not hopeless people. It should shine through every one of our actions, knowing we deserve nothing from Him who gave everything, all the more we should urgently live for Him.
Everthing i have is unmerited. Boy, that sure is a big blow to my ego. Sometimes i wonder where human pride comes from. Where my pride comes from. To know i am worth nothing. It must all have been built on lies. Lies that are refined until they resemble the truth. Told so often, that i myself start believing, hey, i am something of worth on my own.
I fear God. Revelations 8 talks about what happens when God's grace is taken away, and that scares me. To know that it is only the layer of God's grace that is shielding me from His own wrath. What's more, it isn't a thin layer. Such irony, the very thing that strikes fear in me, is the same thing that comforts me.
Our God is an awesome God.
Monday, July 13, 2009
we'll cry, but we won't give up the fight
i feel like i'm doing everything wrong. is this called growing?
Wednesday, July 08, 2009
sing your melody, i'll sing along
It waits for no one. As time whizzes past in a haze of special days and ordinary ones, people that complete those days are often taken for granted. We say hello, we live the routine, occasionally doing something out of the usual, and then we bid each other goodbye. One day has passed.
I really don't know what to say Jon haha. I guess i've said everything i wanted to in all our hang outs, farewell cards and sharings. Just one post for you before you leave. Just 2 years, we're gonna feel it, but we know time is gonna fly too:)
There's a consolation.
See you in 2 years have fun! xD
Monday, June 29, 2009
love is not a fight, but it's something worth fighting for
Love is Not A Fight - Warren Barfield
Love is not a place
To come and go as we please
It's a house we answer in
Then commit to never leave
So lock the door behind you
Throw away the key
We'll work it out together
Let it bring us to our knees
Chorus:
Love is a shelter in a raging storm
Love is peace in the middle of a war
And if we try to leave, may God send angels to guard the door
No, love is not a fight
but it's something worth fighting for
To some, love is a word
That they can fall into
But when they're falling out
Keeping that word is hard to do
Chorus:
Love is a shelter in a raging storm
Love is peace in the middle of a war
And if we try to leave, may God send angels to guard the door
No, love is not a fight
but it's something worth fighting for
Love will come to save us
If we'll only call
He will ask nothing from us
But demand we give our all
Chorus:
Love is a shelter in a raging storm
Love is peace in the middle of a war
And if we try to leave, may God send angels to guard the door
No, love is not a fight
but it's something worth fighting for
I will fight for you
Would you fight for me?
It's worth fighting for
Thursday, June 25, 2009
life's a climb, but the view's beautiful
It's not such a bad thing after all.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
on the outside shying away, on the inside dying to say
I have a lot of questions for You. But right now there's just one that's bugging me.
Is there a line between hypocrisy and ignorance? How do i figure that out? Or maybe it just isnt my responsibility to distinguish between them. How do i act? Maybe 'act' is a bad choice of words. What should i do?
You've been really good to me. Closer than ever, even when i tend to stray further. You answer a lot of my prayers really quickly, though not all with answers that i'd prefer. But You are God, after all.
You taught me SO much in such a short span of time, and just when i think i've had enough and need a break from learning, You tell me learning is for life, and i dont get a break. You push me gently, to my limits, only to reveal my weaknesses. But there, You reveal Your power. You humble me, because i am always too proud, and You remind me again and again, You are all i need.
Everyday is a surprise with You, i never know what You would bring me through each new day. I've learnt to accept that, perhaps not as gracefully as i should, but again i guess that's learning.
People are my strength, people are my weakness. The fears that follow me are like the thorn in Paul's flesh. It feels like a thorn in mine. I'd never be able to understand why i have to live with these fears, or maybe, it's just not the time.
I've made mistakes along the way, some i'm glad i did. Some, i just look back in regret wishing, really wishing i could time travel and just get a chance to relive those moments. (still wishing, i know with You all things are possible!) But i guess all these moments are the ones that make me who i am, or maybe, going to make me who you want me to be.
Am i happy? Yes Jesus, I am happy, right here right now, and eternally grateful for all that You've done with me, and all that You will do. But i want more. I want this joy to stem from eternal sources, not earthly ones. I want all these struggles that pop up and punctuate my joy be worth something in my life later. I want to be a better person. I dont want to take sides. The only side i'm on, is Yours.
I guess all i'm trying to say is-
I need You. But You already know that.
So, thank You.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
both a little scared, neither one prepared
But when death is closer, when your days are numbered in real finite digits, not just some unpredictable surety, do you wonder?
When i close my eyes here, will i open them straight away in heavenly realms? Will i, like in the movies, be lying on the ground, picking myself up to find white surroundings, approaching high gates to find my Lord. Or will He be the One who wakes me up and walks me into His courts? Will He be the first sight i behold at heaven? What would be my instinct reactions?
My imagination runs wild, till i'm hard put to contain it. Am i even ready to meet Him? Will we be as close as i claim us to be here on earth?
Perhaps not. So much more effort to be put into this relationship. So many more things that should stop being taken for granted, Some life revamping is in order.
It really makes you stop. And think.
Really think.
I Can Only Imagine - Mercy Me
I can only imagine
What it will be like
When I walk
By your side
I can only imagine
What my eyes will see
When your face
Is before me
I can only imagine
I can only imagine
Surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel
Will I dance for you Jesus or in awe of you be still
Will I stand in your presence or to my knees will I fall
Will I sing hallelujah, will I be able to speak at all
I can only imagine
I can only imagine
I can only imagine
When that day comes
And I find myself
Standing in the Son
I can only imagine
When all I will do
Is forever
Forever worship You
I can only imagine
I can only imagine
Sunday, May 17, 2009
every sky was your own kind of blue
Monday, May 11, 2009
promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance
Ironic how this 'non-Christian' song got me to instinctively reflect my Christian life. I feel like these few months, i have been facing a lotta mountains in my life. The small ones, the bigger ones. I realised without really realising it before that they are the ones that are shaping me slowly everyday now, changing my view and take on some things, and making my heart right in gray areas. But at the same time, i realise these are the ones that are so wearisome, draining me of the will to keep going sometimes, because being human, i cant help but stop and think- i just don't have the strength to go on anymore. Lord, i'm tired.
I was chatting with wenshan, a uni classmate yesterday night. He's a really grounded Christian guy and i was just so discouraged in this one particular area of working with people and i was sharing with him and his words were so encouraging and i could tell it was spoken from experience.
I was flipping through the book by joyce meyer jon gave layyean on her birthday saturday morning, and i read something that said
It doesn't take any special talent to give up or lie down on the roadside of life and say, "I quit!"
Which is so true. So many times i just wanna tell God i quit! But i want to be different, and the way there is i've gotta first learn to get over life's disappointments and deal with them so they don't get me down. I can't afford to let them pile up and accumulate into something that drags me down later down the road.
Then i'm gonna let God pick me up.
2 papers down, 2 more papers to go. Can't wait, although i have to say in all my finals, i have never been less stressed. So blessed with many people encouraging and praying for me everyday you know who you are thank you=)
See y'all at the end!
Monday, May 04, 2009
i'm still holding on somehow
So we were studying in ringing silence in the meeting room and then all of a sudden,
hiewmun : who farted?!
Mr. L : *sneaky giggle* heehee it's me sorry.
clarence : it's the silent one!
weiwen & sarah: *leaves the room immediately*
Incidentally, he had char siew, siew yoke and ku lou yoke for lunch. Every dish possible for the swine flu pandemic.
I wonder if swine flu is airborne.
Barely 10 minutes later,
weiwen : *sings* ha-lle-lu-jah
clarence : *sings* here i go again~ (mamma mia song)
hiewmun, weiwen, sarah : *looks up* huh?!
clarence : what? i was just continuing - ... oh no!
*laughs*
who ever said study break is boring?
Thursday, April 30, 2009
i'm too shy to ask, i'm too proud to lose
Anyway, it's been generally a pretty relaxing week for me, but mentally you can say i've been pretty active. I've used the week to really work on clearing my heart of all intents and purposes cause i want to be right before God. It wasn't a smooth sailing week in that aspect but i'm doing my best. I'm re-examining my motives, and asking God to help me do the right thing, act the right way even it there's something bigger, which in time He will show. A lot more work to be done on this heart.
Sometimes it's not about the right or the wrong, it's more of the 'is this the right time'? matter, so it's definitely not easy to adjust my actions around that. It's very frustrating, because i get so confused but i'm sure it's all part of the learning process.
Anyways, queenie lee has just consented to tempt me with krispy kremes just now so until now, i am still craving while she's off to pasar malam trying to find a substitute. Thanks a lot.
I dont need the fats.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Monday, April 20, 2009
when all my faith has gone, you bring it back to me
Anyways,
So we got home around 11.30pm yesterday after making a detour at shell to fill layyean's (car) tank and accidentally went into mcd's for chocolate sundae. I went to bed pretty early considering how late (or early depending on how you see it) i've been going to bed recently. It was harder to wake up in the morning than ever cause i knew i had to cover a few more topics for this electronics test i had today, but i got up without snoozing the alarm once haha.
Studied for about 2 hours and then hannah (on study break) woke up and for the next half hour or so we discussed about something that i want to but cannot share here but will as soon as it's not a secret anymore.. haha. Suspense leh?
Okay, my test begun at 3pm, and I left home at 2.30 cause usually it only takes me about 20 minutes tops to get to uni. Don't know what i was doing, i left home at about 2.35. At the toll, being the klutz that i am, i slammed my hand against the door frame while reaching out to pay the lady and skinned my thumb along with some flesh. It started bleeding but i didn't bother much and just wiped it away cause at that time i realised i had a chance of being late for this test.
Reaching uni at like 2.55, another problem. The parking was full. After a few rounds found a spot far from the exam hall. While rushing to the hall, i realised my thumb hasnt stopped bleeding so i had to make another detour to the washroom cause i thought washing it would help. It didn't. It just keep bleeding like my body had access blood and i had to get it all out. Rushing to the hall, i made it on time settled down and was still trying to stop the bleeding.
I didn't have any plaster with me so with no choice, i took a piece of tissue, wrapped it around the finger and stapled it together (cause alex only has stapler no cellophane tape haha) so as not to distract me during the test haha. On the test.. let's just say i know i've slacked and i'm determined to make it up during finals.
And to think when my mum said,
" Sarah, you leave at 2.30pm after you'll be late la."
And i replied,
"Don't worry la, wont wan."
Parents DO know best.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
there's nothing left of this fool
I haven't properly slept these past few nights, but no matter how late i stay up, the work seems neverending. Then there's that 2 tests next week that's weighing down my conscience all week telling me to start preparing but there's just no time for it. And finals are around the corner but we can't even afford to think about it yet.
Then there's camp preparation. Then i get a mail saying that we(bible study group on campus) are not supposed to screen dvds without approval and they need a synopsis of what we're watching.
Then there's people matters. So many people to deal with, so much patience and wisdom and humility required.
All these are already pulling me down but it doesnt matter so much cause i can still deal with it and i'm getting loads of help which really is a blessing.
What i can't deal with is the emotional stress. When out of nowhere i remember the fear. The fear that weighs me down more than anything else. I know everyone has fears, but what i can't understand is why i can't face up to this fear. It's not a big deal to anyone else, but why is it bothering me so much? I'm so, SO SICK of this.
Get over it already.
Friday, April 10, 2009
would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
Then there's another lab and another project with 2 other different partners, where i'm blessed again to have great partners.
Everything is due this month, and to top it all off, lecturers are having in-class tests that carry 10% each every week!
But studies aside, i've also been carrying the thought of the cross around with me more than ever all week. It's amazing how that memory never grows old, always seems as fresh as ever. As heartbreaking as ever, but then as joyful as ever.
I've heard of the Lifehouse Everything Skit quite some time ago, when a guy friend quietly admitted to me that he teared after watching the video. I checked it out, but it didn't have much effect on me. Sure, it was touching. But at that point in time, it just didn't have any effect on me, cause i guess i've also seen such skits before so it was nothing phenomenal.
Now, after weeks of practice with the youth cast of the exact same skit, i only need to listen to the song to visualise the acting. And last night, while preparing the ending video to the skit for tonight and easter, the song broke my heart.
Okay, as huge an influence as music has in my life, i've always been careful, cause i never want to be touched just because the music at that moment was right, or the atmosphere at that moment just climaxed. So let me tell you what just hit.
You're everything.
That line just broke down a lot of what i've been fighting with recently. The struggles that i've tried to share, but ultimately find that only God will fully understand.
Is everything fixed? No, of course not. The struggles will still have to be fought, the fears will still have to be met, and the pain will still have to be faced. But it doesn't hurt, to know that this God cares. This God, who went through so much more than i can ever fathom, who knows what i am going through, and who went through worse because He loves me.
He was broken for me. What can't i face with Him? What can be so great He cannot carry me through it?
So as we remember His sacrifice, as we walk through His life here on earth, as we walk through that night in Gethsemane, as we realise it was our hands, our sins that nailed him to the cross, may we remember just how much He loves us. And find comfort and strength in that.
He is everything.
Thursday, April 02, 2009
there's no greater joy
Ahh, it's been a hectic semester and all these will only end at the end of May. Good in a sense that it's a balanced kind of hectic, not just studies(though that alone i can lament forever, but let's keep focus here).
We finally pulled off the Kirchoff Charity Race, an event I was heading this semester, organized by the Institution of Engineering and Technology, of which I am the director of publicity. So basically, it's like the amazing race around uni where I was determined to
So it was pretty cool, we hit the target of 20 teams(2 per team) and then 2 more! It was really fun, I didn't head any stations cause I wanted to cycle around and see how everyone was doing. I had the most amazing committee behind me, without which none of my plans would succeed. We raised RM600!! when we only expected like RM200 so that was great.
Okay i cannot elaborate on everything I have been up to or this will be longer than you would like it to be haha.
Here's the thing. As busy as my weekdays are, they are nothing compared to my weekends. Or maybe it's cause weekeend is only 2 days. I feel like my weekdays are used to recuperate for weekends. But at least weekends are fun, no stress;)
There are those meetings on weekends, movies we cannot deny sometimes(heheh), practices, just everything that always takes up my weekends, and willingly I give them up haha. This weekend especially saturday is gonna be a 7 to 11 deal again but am looking forward to it.
Studies.. the usual. People talk about studies a lot, so i'll give it a rest and just say that my studies life is just like that of a typical student:)
God has been close all these while, and i guess that's really all that matters. As busy as I am, I have learnt and am still learning to blend everything together. Everything in moderation right?
Oh, and thank God for family and close friends. Really.
Am still losing hair. Hmm, weird way to end but gotta go eat freshly baked chocolate cake now so.. haha
I am so blessed.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
even when i fail You
You go before me
You shield my way
Your hand upholds me.
I know You love me.
I know You love me.
Thursday, March 05, 2009
filled with His goodness, lost in His love
I'll fill you in on everything that's keeping me busy the moment I find time for myself okay.
I am so occupied I'm hard put to find a moment to myself. Which is not a bad thing, but I am still learning to do everything with cheer and not affect people around me just cause I'm having a bad or super stressful day. And to make time for people and not just be so absorbed in things that I am doing I forget it's the people around me that matters to Jesus.
What keeps me going when all the motivation is just not there anymore?
Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.
Colossians 3:23
I do my best in everything for God's glory. That's what keeps me going.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
this is my anthem, this is my song
Great is thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me
Morning by morning I wake up to find
The power and comfort of God's hand in mine
Season by season I watch Him, amazed
In awe of the mystery of His perfect ways
All I have need of, His hand will provide
He's always been faithful to me.
I can't remember a trial or a pain
He did not recycle to bring me gain
I can't remember one single regret
In serving God only, and trusting His hand
All I have need of, His hand will provide
He's always been faithful to me.
This is my anthem, this is my song
The theme of the stories I've heard for so long
God has been faithful, He will be again
His loving compassion, it knows no end
All I have need of, His hand will provide
He's always been faithful, He's always been faithful
He's always been faithful to me
And with that assurance,
I'll get through this week.
Friday, February 13, 2009
the colours are brighter and the air is sweeter taste
So I'll try not to.
Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!
Philippians 4:4
I had a long but really fun day. Finally managed to visit soo aun kor at his office at time square, which is a music store called SMX. I tried the guitars there for a bit, and then he showed me some equipments around the store which were awesome! I even got to try this mini thing like a dj's and spun the disk to make the oh-so-famous scratching sound djs make haha. Went for lunch at Wendy's and it was really nice to catch up with him.
Then I went for slumdog millionaire with Joseph since he got off early that day. He's working in starbucks at time square by the way, and since I'm doing okay after drinking his handmade ice blended chocolate cream chip, it's a pretty good sign so guys, head on there!(free advertisement haha)
Okay, slumdog millionaire was really nice, cause it sort of depicts the reality that we choose to ignore. I don't summarise well so go watch it yourselves cause it's worth watching. Though at the end of the movie a bit potong la cause they just had to start dancing like some hindustan movie. Oh well, we gotta be true to ourselves right? Haha.
Whoops, don't worry, that's like right before the credits ady, I didn't say anything about the movie to spoil it for you- I hope;)
I'm having a really busy semester and it can only get busier, but I'll just elaborate on this in another post next time.
When I give a lecture, I accept that people look at their watches, but what I do not tolerate is when they look at it and raise it to their ear to find out if it stopped.
-Marcel Archard
Oh so true.
Thank you Dorcas for sharing this song, it speaks volumes to me, especially now.
I'm a Sanctus Real fan but never heard of this song. Not such a fan after all, I guess haha.
P/S: They were featured in a taylor's guitar magazine, the lead guy Matt Hammitt plays a taylor in the music video.
Sanctus Real - Whatever You're Doing
It's time for healing time to move on
It's time to fix what's been broken too long
Time make right what has been wrong
It's time to find my way to where I belong
There's a wave that's crashing over me
All I can do is surrender
(Chorus)
Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos somehow there's peace
It's hard to surrender to what I can't see
but I'm giving in to something heavenly
Time for a milestone
Time to begin again
Revaluate who I really am
Am I doing everything to follow your will
or just climbing aimlessly over these hills
So show me what it is you want from me
I give everything I surrender...To...
(Chorus)
Time to face up
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out
That I've wanted to say for so many years
Time to to release all my held back tears
Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but I believe
You're up to something bigger than me
Larger than life something heavenly
Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but now I can see
This something bigger than me
Larger than life something heavenly
Something heavenly
It's time to face up
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out
Another long day tomorrow, have a great weekend everyone;)
Thursday, February 12, 2009
so take me as you find me, all my fears and failures
Some things, they have to be faced alone because that's just the way it is.
Ironic, to have so many friends, but to know that that specific thing tomorrow will bring has to be dealt with by myself. I really am trying with how I know best.
Sometimes,
I feel so alone.
Saturday, February 07, 2009
maybe redemption has stories to tell
What poison is to food, self-pity is to life.
-Oliver C. Wilson
Yes, life is unfair. So, what's new? It's life, and wallowing in self-pity doesn't help. It narrows our thinking, and makes bad situations look worse. Sometimes, we don't really have the whole picture but start being sorry for ourselves which deepens that misunderstanding.
Walking with Christ can warrant a lot of self-pity times. We sometimes get treated like crap by people whom we keep trying to be nice to. Jesus Himself was in many such situations. But He did not feel sorry for Himself, He focused on that greater purpose. No, we're not perfect, but we all gotta start somewhere.
There is only one way to end a self-pity cycle: stop comparing yourself to others, and simply follow Christ.
-Linda Harry
Everyone goes through it. We are not alone. Our greatest example led the way, we can only follow. And here's a painful truth, sometimes we ourselves are the problem. We keep blaming and pointing fingers not realising we are our own source of pain. Dag Hammarskjold put it best and I quote,
Is life so wretched? Isn't it rather your hands which are too small, your vision which is muddled? You are the one who must grow up.
Enough said?
I hope so. I really do.
Thursday, February 05, 2009
you don't wear my chains
Naturally, since there is no class tomorrow, I can't bring myself to go to bed despite the fact that I have been feeling sleepy since this afternoon(new record). Only thing is, I just remembered though there's no class tomorrow I still have to go to uni to get some data entry done in the head of my faculty's(EEE) office with a few others. One of the perks of being a committee member. Not.
So like a true rebel(haha, far from it) I am defiant enough to post this post up before hitting the sack. I really hope I can wake tomorrow. Though I only gotta be there at 2, you probably know how our mind develops this thinking that if there is no class, you have the permission to feel sleepy and continue sleeping until mid afternoon.
I'm gonna go battle the bed bugs now.
Jesus paid much too high a price
For us to pick and choose who should come
-If We Are The Body, Casting Crowns
Tuesday, February 03, 2009
leave out all the rest
So when I say we 'bumped' into him, we didnt literally bump into him. Here's what happened. Today after class at 3 we were supposed to go to kamhing and hing's open room for cny la together. I had a meeting so weiwen waited for me, and then we met up with dom, steph and clarence at the sa(student association) building and together with hing we got into weiwen's car. In the time it took for everyone to get settled in, I just happened to glance outside the back windshield and saw this guy, a girl and an older man. The guy looked really familiar but I just let it go as another familiar looking guy I see around campus everyday. Then as the car started moving, steph screamed(and I mean screamed)
'IS THAT WONG CHOONG HANN??!!'
And at that moment the recognition came back and it clicked! And i was like 'Oh my goodness, yes! It's Wong Choong Hann!' We all swivelled around to get a better look, but the car was moving and they were further away already. So obviously we made weiwen(actually he was the only guy who was screaming along with us in the car) turn into the next intersection that leads into the resident halls where WCH was headed. In the car, there was chaos! Weiwen was obviously still shouting, clarence was asking who is wong choong hann(=.=) and steph and I were busy looking for paper and pen to get his autograph. Dom was unacceptably unfazed by this obviously major incident. Our bags were in the car, but hing whipped out his pencil case and er, PAR(personal academic records) form and gave them to us.
Not wasting any time, we jumped outta the car and ran towards him, still slightly hesitant. I mean we weren't completely sure it was him. But why take the risk right? So I just went up to him and er, asked him if he's visiting. Then I asked if we could have a picture with him. The moment he said 'Sure!', it was obvious we hadn't mistaken his identity. So i gave my phone to the older man(who happened to be his dad, not the tour guide which I initially thought!) who passed the phone to WCH's sister instead. We got into position, and then my battery became low and wouldnt take! Of all the times! And steph's phone was in her bag.
So I told steph to get his autograph first while I ran back to the car to call hing to bring his phone! All these in the pouring rain. But it was all worth it.
Hing didnt even notice WCH, but he actually noticed the sister. I wasn't noticing her, but apparently she was really pretty. Guys, right? Put WCH right in front of them, and they wouldn't notice(except weiwen haha) cause they're too busy staring at his sister.
Anyway, the exhilaration lasted in hing's room throughout the time we were there. And steph and I are pretty convinced that this is a sign that Jason Mraz is next on our list of 'bumping-intos'. And he might even give away his guitar.
I'll try to snap back to reality real soon to give y'all a real update.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
i can't wait to wake up tomorrow and find out this promise is true
Day 1
It took about 3 hours to reach kuantan. Moving on, it was gonna be another 3 hours to terengganu but I dont know what we did in the middle, we only reached KT at 3pm.
First things first, we had to check into our hotel. My dad booked 3 hotels, cause we dont know which is clean and stuff. So we stopped by the first one and my dad, mum, and hannah went in to survey the room. Dont know why bekah and I were asked to stay behind.
The team came back and reported a failed cleanliness check so we headed for the second one, grand continental, where we stayed before so basically it was sort of settled that we're gonna stay there. Still, parents went in to check check first. Nope, no pictures this time haha.
After checking in, we wasted no time. Full of adrenaline and excitement, my parents started the tour for our benefit around KT(where my dad grew up, mum lived, and hannah and I were both born. Bekah 100% budak kajang haha) We were scouting for- what else- food! Dad was really excited to take us around a tour to gain weight, which I am sad to say, worked. We attacked the keropok lekor first, at the losong street which is like lined with keropok lekor stalls. It's crazy. Why dont we get these in selangor?
Of course, we(I) fell for the sales. You would too, trust me. At night, we went for dinner eating all the famous nasi(s) and then hannah went to shop for her birthday present from bekah. While they were trying on shoes, kamhing(my uni mate also from terengganu) came to meet up and say hi.
Day 2
Second day! Reunion dinner was at night and we were excited to meet with people who all share the yang surname. We've never experienced that. Usually we're the only yangs. But before that, there's another whole day in front of us so in the morning it was nasi minyak! Terengganu is famous for nasi dagang, nasi minyak and keropok lekor la to name a few. So that morning our dad brought us to have the famous nasi minyak john.
We went to walk around chinatown to get something for hannah's kai ma(stepmum?).
I started out wanted to post in detail *semangat*, now malas ady haha. So after visiting her kai ma, we went sightseeing at some place I cant remember the name.
First things first... breakfast! You get the picture now right? haha. This time it's nasi dagang.
Skip skip and then it was truly Chinese New Year time(aka angpau time!) We went, saw, and collected! Haha, it was really fun the cny atmosphere in the house. There were more nasi dagang and keropok lekor there. What else? Attack!
Fed and watered, we journeyed home. Got stuck in a jam on the karak highway for about an hour! Got home at about 11pm. Missing terengganu and the people already, but no time to mope! It was hannah's 21st birthday an hour later. She spent the first few minutes of her birthday in the shower. What a way to start!
We 3 sisters learnt more hokkien in one trip than our lifetimes. They all speak hokkien. We even have an malay cousins(aunties i think but younger than us haha) who speak hokkien, english, mandarin and of course malay, fluently!
I'm so patience-less now after all the picture moving and layout arranging haha. Next update probably on hannah's birthday. Watch this space.
editted: i have no idea why the fonts are like this, and i've played around for quite some time but can't get them to synchronize.